Unanswered [5]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 6


Engineering and Dad's Influence - Princeton Essays



Jomaha23 7 / 29  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
Any suggestions are welcomed!! Any insults as well :P! Please review one or both :)!!

1)If you are interested in pursuing a B.S.E. (Bachelor of Science in Engineering) degree, please write an essay describing why you are interested in studying engineering, any experiences in or exposure to engineering you have had, and how you think the programs in engineering offered at Princeton suit your particular interests.

Blueprints, metric rulers, buildings, and infrastructures are things that my father, as a civil engineer, has exposed me to since I was a little kid. Ever since then, I've found construction and engineering really interesting. Still, as I grew up I got more exposed to the field of engineering, and I've gained another perspective of it. Rather than just seeing it as simply interesting, I see it as one of the most important areas of study, as it prompts the professional to constantly seek for solutions to society's problems. This, specifically, is what attracts me the most to engineering, because seeking solutions and explanations through the use of mathematical and scientific knowledge is one of my passions. Even looking for explanation to the most trivial things, like the reason why the sound of my guitar strings is more acute when they are tightened, amazes me. My exposure to the field and my inclination and skills in areas such as physics and mathematics, have shaped my decision of becoming a civil engineer. Furthermore, in comparison to other careers, it will offer me a vast variety of work opportunities. It will allow me to work in fields such as project management, construction management, or even finance. Engineering will prepare me for the world, and its wide range of specializations will allow me to develop as a complete and versatile professional.

After finishing my sophomore year, my father offered me the possibility to work with him at his office in the engineering area of the Banco Popular Dominicano. I did not hesitate to answer his proposal with an ecstatic "Of course!" At his office I got to know every person involved in the building process of a bank's faculty. Every single professional, from the technician to the architect, performed a task of extreme importance, without which a whole project could have collapsed. During my stay, I formed part of this working team; I worked as an assistant and helped in the creation of blueprints of future projects. In many occasions, my father took me with him to construction areas. During these visits, my father always gave me certain tasks to perform that ranged from making a variety of measurements to preparing a budget sheet with all the costs of the day. The activities ignited a feeling of excitement in me, a feeling that aroused because of the passion I have for math, physics, and engineering in general. All these activities taught me much about engineering, shaping my career decision and making me aware of what my true passions are.

In addition to my work experience, the challenges and issues the world faces today and my desire to attain certain personal goals have strengthened my decision of becoming a civil engineer. Presently, civil engineers face the challenge of trying to come up with a building method to deal with the urban growth without damaging the environment. This challenge captures my attention, and I would like to actively participate in the search of innovative solutions to it that will contribute to the creation of a "greener" world. Additionally, studying civil engineering will help me attain my personal goal of founding and owning a company in Construction Management in association with my father.

At Princeton University my interests will be satisfied and my goals will become a reality. Princeton University will provide me with rigorous civil and environmental engineering programs that will help me develop my knowledge in engineering, sciences, and environmental preservation in a way that not many universities can do. Furthermore, Princeton gives the student the opportunity of specializing as Structural Engineers, a specialization that will help me attain my goal of seeking for a better world as it prepares the student to address the main problems of modern engineering. Princeton also encourages and provides the best environment for extensive research and experimentations, along with programs that let the students interact with real engineering companies. These programs and researches will let me aid society, while at the same time they will expand my knowledge and shape my path to the world.

2)"Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way."

The one person who has influenced me the most is my father. He has altered my way of thinking, confronting challenges, and seeing the world around me.

Throughout my whole life my father has always been present. Often, when I do something, there is a saying of his in my head. This is true for small thing, like conserving energy. Ever since I was little he has told me: "Always turn off the lights when you are not using them. It is important to save energy." Nowadays, I find myself confirming twice that I have turned off all the lights before I leave a room.

Then, there is his advice on longer issues, like how to confront challenges. Once, when I was 9 years old, I was crying because I couldn't memorize the capitals of all the American countries for a test. My dad sat beside me and told me: "Never block yourself in front of difficult situations." After hearing his advice, I dried my tears, cleared my mind of negative thoughts, and focused on the test material I had to study. The next day I got an excellent grade on my test. That one little grade on the test didn't really matter, but I still remember my dad's advice when confronting bigger challenges like loosing or getting apart from a close relative, for example, my grandparents; preventing conflicts with my friends, or making hard decisions, like whether or not to enroll in all the AP classes at my school. Even when math problems seem to have no solution, or when it seems impossible to memorize the dates of United States Civil War Battles, I think of the advice my dad gave me, and I try to come up with the solution.

My father has also changed my view of the world. Every morning he reads out loud the title of a newspaper article that he finds important, and that he believes I must hear. The articles he reads are often about people who die in my country because of poverty or bad life conditions. At first I paid little attention and interest to his readings. I thought it was senseless, and I found everything he read had nothing to do with me, but I was wrong. Now, I understand he read these titles to give men an image about the actual world we live in, a world full of poverty, world hunger, conflicts, wars. My father wanted to enlighten me with sad, but true, facts about the world I'm going to be exposed in some years, and which I will have to fight all by myself. My father has given me a new and more humane perspective of the world. This new perspective has shaped my life goal: become a renowned engineer and make a difference in the world, always seeking for the good of the society.

I may never have to face some of the personal challenges my father faced as a kid like loosing his parents in hands of incurable diseases, loosing his brother in an accident, or suffering due to low life conditions caused by lack of resources and money. However, I've learned from his experiences and I try to emulate the values that made him the prosperous men he is today. His success has taught me that one must always be optimistic and perseverant to accomplish what is desired. Many times I've been at the point of surrender, but I always reflect upon what's stopping me and try to come up with a solution to the issue. For example, when I was in eighth grade I had to do a science fair project about the chemical element of palladium and its effects on nature. The experiment I intended to perform required the use of a piece of palladium, but it was scarce in my country. The week before the science fair was due I still didn't have the palladium, but I did not surrender, I kept on looking in every store. Finally, I was able to find one, just a day before the experiment was due. That night I stood up until 3:00 AM making my experiment work, and it did. The next day I won 2nd place in the science fair. Once again, what really matters is not the recognition I received, but the way my father has altered my way of approaching issues and challenges.

Furthermore, my father's career as an engineer has exposed me to the field, and I have developed great interest and skills in the area. In addition, his great dexterity in math, physics, and project management has inspired me to follow his steps.

My father has been one of the most influential figures in my life. Not only because he provides me with a great education, but also because he gives me support in every situation I face. He has changed my vision of the world and has always inspired me to do the correct thing and to care about others. His success, his values, and his numerous advices have shaped the person I presently am.

coldplay 2 / 4  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
For the first essay I think that you should mention little bit more in detail about about the courses and program that you want to pursue

Also write about specific professors and their research.

help me as well :
ItalianOpera 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
I think it starts out really well. Maybe you should focus on more Princeton-specific programs. There are plenty of strong engineering programs but tell them what makes them special.
OP Jomaha23 7 / 29  
Dec 29, 2010   #4
Ok Thanks. So, whats your general take on my essay? Is it good, weak, strong...?

Thanks a lot in advance :)!!
Anonymoussenior 17 / 124  
Dec 30, 2010   #5
change really interesting to something more articulate.
second sentence maybe say: As I grew older, my exposure and perspective on engineering changed; rather than being just an interesting career for the future, it became a closer, more obtainable field of study. I now see it as one of the most valuable areas of study...

even looking for anexplanation... replace like the reason with such as.

replace a with the whole project
replace blueprints of future projects to blueprents fore future projects
in many occasions to on many occasions

maybe find a way to shorten and combine these two sentences. In many occasions, my father took me with him to construction areas. During these visits, my father always gave me certain tasks to perform that ranged from making a variety of measurements to preparing a budget sheet with all the costs of the day.

a feeling that aroused me

The activities ignited a feeling of excitement in me, a feeling that aroused because of the passion I have for math, physics, and engineering in general. All these activities taught me much about engineering, shaping my career decision and making me aware of what my true passions are.

repetitive, you pretty much say the exact thing in the first paragraph

I have not read the last two paragraphs yet but I feel like you could really tighten your prose and maybe reorganize some of the sentences so they got with a similar thing you discussed elsewhere in the essay.

Also you may want to spend a bit more time talking about Princeton.

I am not finished reading, I will comment on the last two paragraphs after I get some sleep.
OP Jomaha23 7 / 29  
Dec 30, 2010   #6
Thanks a lot for all the suggestions!! I'll be waiting for you to review the rest of my essay! :)


Home / Undergraduate / Engineering and Dad's Influence - Princeton Essays
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳