"an engineering idea you have" - Cornell Engineering

Hi everyone. This is the first part of my Cornell supplement essay. Please give me your opinion. Thank you!

Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.

Some people know what they want to do with their lives from the moment they are born. As for me, I do not know what lies ahead . I love to learn and explore the realms of knowledge. All subjects intrigue me in a unique way. The one thing I do love to do is to solve problems. Whether it is solving a difficult calculus question or resolving a conflict between two friends, I enjoy being able to search for the solution. That is why I am inclined to become an engineer. In modern times, society is consumed in problems. Engineers strive to solve these problems. I am not particuliarly skilled in math or science, but I do have a passion to solve problems. I think that is enough to pursue a career in Engineering. My interest lies in Biomedical Engineering. In my South Asian community, many parents seem to push their kids to become doctors. They take prid in the fact their children are studying to become doctors and helping others. These people do not realize that doctors cannot operate or treat patients without the machinery and tools to do so. Biomedical Engineers invent these tools so doctors can do their jobs effectively. They combine the rigor of medical studies with the power of engineering analysis and design. Technology is progressing at a rapid pace, but diseases such as cancer and heart disease still kill millions every year. This should not be the case. Technology should be able to greatly aid the world in its application in medicine. I cannot solve all of the world's problems, but I can certainly try. I want to start by becoming a Biomedical Engineer.

I get a sense of why you are interested in engineering (problem-solving skills) however, you do not link it back to how Cornell will specifically help you further this idea or interest. Remember for a college-specific supplement, you should include specific aspects of Cornell Life/Engineering which you will imbibe and utilize to effectively solve those problems you list towards the end. Also, the moddle part of this paragraph is slightly choppy. "I think that is enough to pursue a career in engineering. My interest lies in Biomedical engineering." It is almost as if you are telling the admissions officer that you have no further reason to be an engineer (remove the word "enough"). Maybe: "That is why I want to pursue a career in Biomedical Engineering." Overall it is great. Just some minor improvements and Cornell-specific comments should do the job. Good luck!

Thank you! Yes, this is only the first part of my essay. I will definitely add some Cornell specific content. I appreciate the feedback.