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'my entire life around computers' - UC Transfer (Prompt 1)

MEM4FP 4 / 3  
Nov 24, 2011   #1
Hey guys! I was wondering if you would take a moment of your time trying to help me edit this essay. Any comments, questions, comments are deeply appreciated. Thanks!

PROMPT: What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

A "magic box" was what I called a computer in my childhood. I was captivated by the "magic" every time I looked at the computer screen, but how does a computer work, I asked? The answer is in the coding, strings of characters and numbers that help make a software function. Computer science was born from this idea, and this is my intended major.

I have spent my entire life around computers, but never really grasped the concept of what makes a computer function. I figured I should start at the basics. To find my answer, I joined the media team provided at my church. They taught me everything there is to know about computers, such as Office, PhotoShop, and other media related programs. We also provided technological lyrics and other media aspects that helped our congregants visually and auditorily. Thanks to my mentors, my skills around a computer have continued to improve and my knowledge for technology have dramatically enhanced. Learning about computers is what keeps my passion fueled up and nothing can extinguish that. Everything I have learned so far, even to this day, I use them to teach others. At my place of my employment, some employees were technologically illiterate, and I was happy to educate them. When I teach computers to someone, I want them to experience the same joy and happiness that I experienced since the inception. That made me who I am today. The knowledge that I had gained is the wisdom in the future.

In college, my love for computers led me to opt Computer Science as my major. My participation has pushed me out of my comfort zone and had me collaborate with others about this intricate subject. Learning Python language is what we learned because it helped us grasp a rudimentary idea of what programming is about. I admit, creating a code is complicated for beginners, but with proper guidance, I have received a stellar grade. In my spare time, I continue to practice by writing codes, with the instructions from helpful YouTube videos and graduate-level textbooks. Learning about programming has been a challenge, but I know that but I know with perseverance, the journey will be all worth it in the end.

Engaging this intricate subject, I managed to solidify my passion for programming and I want to become involved in this field in the future, as a security consultant for Microsoft. Although I initially applied to many colleges in this major, I know that my experience or my academic work does not carry much weight in the long run. But, discovering a passion for computers will be no different for my passion for Computer Science; this is what I gained throughout all my years. To fulfill my goal in becoming a computer programmer, I will value the protocols and paths that are laid out for me at a top-notch school, and I look forward to using their tools in order to build my future. My enthusiasm and my willpower are contagious, and I believe that I can truly become a success.
aerielm 6 / 14  
Nov 25, 2011   #2
I was captivated by the "magic" every time I looked at the computer screen,but how does a computer work, I asked?

Those should be two seperate sentences, but other than that I thought the grammatical and spelling aspects were pretty accurate. I like your opening and closing sentences, and you answered the prompt pretty well. So, overall good essay!

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