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"ethical dilemma that challenged you"; I stuck up with my beliefs and values



Fwapi 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2009   #1
Prompt: Members of the caltech community live, learn, and work within an Honor system with one simple guideline, "No member shall take unfair advantage of any other member of the caltech community." While seemingly simple, questions of ethics, honesty, and integrity are sometimes challenging. share an ethical dilemma that challenged you. What did you do?

Had there been a time when I felt like giving up the most, this would be it.

It was during the first few weeks of my first year in high school. I had the same classmates as I did the previous year, however, the system of learning and the load of work was very different. I had to adjust to these changes in addition to trying my best to still achieve high grades. High school was more disciplined, with stricter rules and harsher punishments. But despite these, some people in my class still broke these rules.

I could've just let it go and ignored everything I saw. However, it was bothering me; people around me were texting during class and cheating on tests. At this point, I had two choices. I could either tell the teacher, but risk getting "caught" on telling, or just keep quiet and act as if nothing ever happened.

It was a hard decision; but in the end, I stuck up with my beliefs and values. I strongly believe in honesty and I shouldn't let this pass. I told my teacher. My classmates found out. For weeks I was lonely. My old friends started talking bad and writing hateful blog posts about me. At first, I was very much affected, but I've learned to ignore them and focus on my priorities instead. I did not let this affect my grades and my high school experience. Had I been given the chance to go back to this time, and redo what happened, knowing the consequences, I would still choose to do what is right. I am a person of values, and the toughest of situations would not change me.

This is my first draft and any feedback on it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :)

help1 1 / 2  
Dec 25, 2009   #2
Excellent, this is highly demonstrative and answers the prompt. I would take out the parts where you explicitly say "I strongly believe in honesty" or "I am a person of values"-just let your actions to the explaining.
OP Fwapi 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2009   #3
Thank you so much for your comment!

Anything wrong with my grammar or how I worded my sentences? (Sorry, English is not my first language.) Thank you.
Ivy_Equestrian 13 / 53  
Dec 25, 2009   #4
The only things I noticed grammatically is that you shifted tenses: for example;
"It was a hard decision; but in the end, I stuck up with my beliefs and values. I strongly believe in honesty and I shouldn't let this pass."

Here, you go from past to present. Change shouldn't to couldn't/wouldn't, and it'll work.
Also, "talking bad about me" is incorrect. "Talking badly" or the slightly more pretentious "speaking ill of me" would work better.

"Redo what happened" sounds awkward; maybe "make a different decision"? In the long run, it's up to you how you want to phrase that! :)

Care to critique mine?
mrgzg1 6 / 14  
Dec 28, 2009   #5
I like your content but, I feel that you are emphasizing too much on stating that you are honest, why not use the same space for actually proving that you are honest! "Prove rather then say"

I cannot comment on grammer because I have bad english!


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