It was 4:30 pm on a Friday afternoon. I was searching for a lane at the grocery store to buy mini apple tarts. The store was crowded, and the lines were long, it was an unpleasant situation. As I darted towards cashier number one, I accidently ran into an elderly woman's shopping cart. I repeatedly apologized and began to turn a bright shade of red. She turned her head slightly, and preceded to give me a dirty look that sent shivers up my spine. As she wheeled away, I heard her mutter in a disgusted voice, "Go back to your own country." I stood in shock.
Do you have any suggestions to what I should add or change? Thanks in advance!
The max. is 250 words, I've only used 106.
You should add how that made you feel, or how that affected you, or what that situation has taught you.
It's a good start though.
Was it really 4:30 pm on a Friday afternoon? Hehe. I dont know, I feel like you made that up, the time, I mean. I could be wrong. :P
Talk more about your country, your feelings, and how you manage to overcome such situations.
Well, add a paragraph in which you give a useful idea, a bit of wisdom that came to you from the experience.
:-)
It was 4:30 pm on a Friday afternoon .
You don't have to say both pm and afternoon.
I was searching for a lane at the grocery store to buy mini apple tarts. Cool, great detail!!
The store was crowded, and the lines were long, and it was an unpleasant situation. As I darted towards cashier number one, I accidentally ran into an elderly woman's shopping cart. I repeatedly apologized and began to turn a bright shade of red. She turned her head slightly, and proceeded to give me a ...
