Pomona College:
Prompt: If you had the complete attention of your community for five minutes, what would you say, and what would you hope to accomplish?
If I had the attention of my community for five minutes, I would tell them that not everything is as it appears. As humans, we have this terrible tendency to judge. From appearances to beliefs, we delight in enforcing status quos and rules of conduct upon people, touting all the while that without these rules, we would be no better than barbarians or animals.
Unfortunately, for all our criticisms, we fail at judging the most important characteristic any human being can have: intention. I do not know if we as a society are really capable of differentiating between actions and intentions; even in our idolized justice systems, we leave intentions out of the legal equation, literally judging people on what they have done alone.
Indeed, it is also surprising how we are able to praise people without ever asking them why. Why they decided to do a good deed? Were they getting anything out of it?Maybe we do not ask because we are afraid of being horrified. More likely, it is because we do not expect an honest answer. And anyway, it is easier to believe that our "heroes" do everything with the best of intentions and that our "villains" do everything with the worst.
Regardless, I have often wondered how society would react if everyone's intentions were made public, if there was no need to read between the lines. Would society fall apart? Is society not meant to see humans as complex, as a mix of Goldings and Locke instead of innately good or innately evil? I do not know. But with five minutes of my own community's time, I would ask them. I would ask them to look beyond judgements and to be honest with their intentions, holding on to the hope that any desire to enforce status quos or to stereotype would eventually disappear.
I really appreciate your help! :)
This is a very well written essay. I could not find any grammar mistakes except this very minor one:
"Were they getting anything out of it? Maybe we do not ask" You were missing a space after the question mark.
As for the content of the essay, I can tell that you are thought-provoking and ask the big questions.
Just an advice, it may be beneficial to insert a short, personal anecdote in the essay. Though it is good without it, it may make the essay seem more personal.
Good luck!
