Everything is diverse - Umich Diversity Essay

"We know that diversity makes us a better university - better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment
on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

I am Christian. They are Muslim. I am Arabic. They are Korean. I am liberal. They are conservative. I am a female. He is a male. I am under representation. They are the majority. I am captain of my basketball team. They are my teammates. I am apart of the Students Today Leaders Forever Program. They are apart of American Red Cross. I am fourteen taking my first stride into my high school career. So are they.

To declare I felt completely and incandescently happy walking into high school would be an overstatement. I truly feared what to expect; this fear seemed inevitable. I knew the next four years would be a long lasting experience and I as an individual would gain a lot from them. I met people who are intellectual, the academic reputation, while I adore academics as well as playing sports and joining clubs. At times I felt like I didn't belong since I am a minority; (I being Christian while the majority of the students are Muslim) I wanted to be the dominant one. I felt as if I as always ignored. Yet as hard as it tried to rid myself of the intellect, the curiosity, and most of all acceptance it returned to me with full force; I could not avoid it. Gradually I have begun to accept the people around me as peers and people to learn a lot from. While others are the author I am the reader and together we intertwine. While I may seem different than everyone else, everyone can be different than me. We all contribute to what makes this country different. Each individual attending the University of Michigan brings a new perspective of life as will I.

This country is diverse. University of Michigan is diverse. We are diverse. I am diverse.

This is a good start, but you've got a way to go before it will be an acceptable essay. I see what you are trying to do with the present-tense introduction and that's fine but then, once you shift into past tense, you need to stay there until you come to the present day. Next, the second paragraph is a bit of a jumble. You need to organize that one more coherently and then follow up with a concluding paragraph that fully brings us forward into the present.

I understand what your saying but that's so hard since the prompt can only be 250 words. Whats the best way to get what im saying across?

not apart. it's a part.

apart means away from.
a part is involved in.

please read mine

hey heres a new version of my entire essay tell me what you thinkk...

[A] "We know that diversity makes us a better university - better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment
on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

I look at my watch and I am very happy that I am ten minutes early. As my best friend's mother opens the door, she greets me with a hug and is happy to see that I brought Tum3ar with me. She invites me insider her home and the sumptuous smell makes my empty stomach growl.

Being raised a Greek Orthodox I lacked understanding and appreciation for diversity. Although, I have friends of different religions, race, and ethnicities, I never took the time to understand what is so special about each one of them. I recently gained a glimpse into the Muslim belief and culture. My best friend, Rima Fadlallah, invited me over for a dinner during their holy holiday of Ramadan. I had no idea what to expect and unfortunately had no background information on this religion. I felt it was only right to look up facts about Ramadan so that I may better prepare myself for what they call Iftar. Finding out that my friend would be fasting all day I insisted on joining her in the day's fast. I found myself wanting to learn more about Ramadan and not only wanting to understand the reason for fasting but also understand why certain foods are more desirable to consume during the month such as Tam3ar (dates). The moment came as we waited last minute to break fast I began to truly understand the meaning of my Muslim friend's sacrifice and how that relates to sacrifices made by other religious groups. Exposing myself to this experience helped me appreciate what cultural diversity really is and the uniqueness and similarities we all contribute to each others existence.

My exposure, acceptance, and appreciation for cultural diversity will allow me to contribute more to the University of Michigan community.