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'being evicted several times' - QUESTBRIDGE ESSAY #2!



uscuscusc 9 / 27  
Sep 23, 2012   #1
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. (500 word limit)

I had seen it before, but this time I knew exactly what it meant. The site of the horrific yellow paper made my stomach cringe. My eldest sister, Madison, rapidly pushed open the gate, ran up to the door, ripping it off the door and tearing it into shreds. She shook the handle and tried breaking the lock off of it, but it wouldn't budge. Then she ran to the back door, while my younger sister, Janet, and I ran swiftly behind her. Madison was at the footsteps of the back door with a red pigmented face, tears running down her cheeks, and wailing out "Why?!" The refrigerator was outside, food was covering the floor with our clothes on top, mattresses' were on the mud, all doors were sealed and the windows were air tight- we were evicted.

As a sunset orange illuminated the sky, our stomachs were roaring loudly, Janet fell asleep on a chair, Madison's eyes had dried up, I was just numb, and still no site of our mother. I only thought of one person that I knew would come and save us, my aunt Selene. As soon as I she arrived I fell into her arms, she confessed that our mother had fled to Las Vegas with her companion. I broke out crying, I just couldn't believe that my mother left me, when I loved her unconditionally unlike her companion who just tormented her, I was drowning in despair, then she comforted me with: "Why are you sad? Are your tears going to bring back your house? Are they going to bring back your mom? No. Stop crying, get up, and never let your past define you."

Living through the hard times of my existence, being evicted several times, knowing my mother sneakily cut herself trying to end her existence due to the lack of compassion from her companion, I had to find ways to save myself from great depression and apathy. I have chosen to embrace optimism, to save my sisters when they feel like our life is just going to get worse, and when my sisters feel like disappearing. I pick up their dignity and shower them with optimism, so they can walk tall again with head held high, looking forward to the future. I left my family's idea of me being the walking image of my parents in the past. I pushed myself to become a high school woman with a 4.5 GPA, ranked 16 out of 449 students, applying to colleges and becoming a heroine for my younger sister and other high achieving low-income women. I am defined by where I am, who I am, and what I am, now.

MrMaro 4 / 12  
Sep 23, 2012   #2
The essay is great, other than are a few minor mistakes here and there, stylistic preferences in my case (orange sunset, instead of sunset orange?) I think its amazing
OP uscuscusc 9 / 27  
Sep 24, 2012   #3
Thanks! and I will change that thanks again!


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