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"an excellent candidate for the Radio & Television program" - Ryerson Personal essay



dianneaguilar1 1 / 1  
Feb 2, 2011   #1
This is my essay for Radio and Television it's due friday if I could get some feed back it would be usefull thank you.

Have you ever awakened so early in the morning that you do an alarm clock double-take to make sure it's really time to leave for work? The sun isn't out yet. It's Monday and the last thing you want to do is go to work. You're tired, so you grab your cup of coffee and turn on the television for traffic and early morning news. Tuning in a favorite newscaster makes Monday morning bearable.

Unlike many other people, I love early morning. It's my favourite part of the day because the morning television hosts are so uplifting and filled with energy and charisma. These broadcasting professionals have already been up for hours, yet they are smiling and are ready to go.

I'd like to be there at seven am when Canadians want to find out the latest news or the quickest way to get to work.

I am outgoing, friendly, and charismatic. I've never been shy about speaking out in class or being center stage. I know that broadcasting will require the ability to communicate clearly, and I can. I recognize that it takes a lot of work to make a morning programme that sounds to listeners as if it came together effortlessly. I am not afraid to work hard.

In school, I am head of Formal (most people call it prom) Committee, which is lot of responsibly. I have learned good organizational skills and mastered mult-tasking as part of making this year's formal a success. I have also sought to get some experience in the technical aspects of putting on a show by being a member of the stage and lighting crew and have sought to develop the dramatic skills that I might use as a broadcaster by performing in some of the plays put on by the drama department. Performing these roles has made me comfortable speaking before a large audience.

I also have tried to get some experience as a master of ceremonies. Once a month, I go to Raccoons, a night club, where I host Rock Band live night. I enjoy the give and take and banter that it takes to make the evening a success for the musicians and the crowd.

Last year, I gained some additional experience creating a docudrama. As part of a project in drama class, I and other members of a team brainstormed for ideas, created a script, and designed costumers, and gathered props for the production. We also had to incorporate music and lighting. The group was composed of people with strong personalities, so I took the initiative to be the leader and to help keep the group on task. I developed a plan with deadlines to make certain that the script was finished and members made it to 7 am rehearsals. I learned how to lead a diverse group and how to put together a successful production.

I have spent much of my time in high school preparing for a career in broadcasting and media. Although, I do not know where my career may take me, in five years I would like to be hosting an entertainment programme on E-talk to represent the strength of Canadian television. The courses that I am most interested in are (BDC906) Media marketing and promotion; (SOC 104) Media and society; and (MKT 504) Effective persuasion. Media and society is a foundation course and would expose me to the many different kinds of careers that media experts can choose. It would also explore the ethical issues that broadcasters face. I chose Media marketing and promotion because I am interested in the business side of media. Finally, I chose effective persuasion because good communication is at the base of any successful media career.

I would also like to take (BDC 907) Television programming; (BCD 910) production management; and (BDC 941) Dramatic writing. I am drawn to the first two because they would give me a background in the technical side of broadcasting and media. I am drawn to dramatic writing because of my background in drama. I believe being able to write well is crucial to success, regardless of what aspect of media I choose as a career.

With help from the fine teachers at Ryerson, perhaps I will one day be the person who Canadians tune in to wake up and get ready for a productive Monday.

EricJ - / 48  
Feb 2, 2011   #2
Your essay has a few problems. You have a good idea for an intro, but never return to it to close the essay. You really don't connect the courses to your objectives and you don't do a good job of selling yourself. There are errors in the writing that detract from your presentation.

The writers at College Application Essay Help have chosen your essay for a complete rewrite.
OP dianneaguilar1 1 / 1  
Feb 3, 2011   #3
thank you very much for your imput,it was insightful and helpful in many ways.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Feb 7, 2011   #4
Solid! The essay really shows that you have been thinking seriously about college. That is sort of rare; many students just go through the motions, but you should feel very confident because you clearly have put a lot of time into planning. Yet, their prompt also creates a situation in which all essays will be detailed and meaningful because of the specific questions they ask. How can you give yourself an advantage over the competition?

One way might be to develop your Monday morning theme a little more. That final sentence in the essay stands alone, a bit redundant, not having anything you to the theme that you establish to the beginning. All would be really great would be if you could reference some recent books or journal articles that pertain to journalism as an important part of Canadian life. Any time you write anything, you can make it stronger by citing research, statistics, etc.

:-)


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