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"how excited I am to venture into this new chapter of our lives" - Stanford Roommate



K0R3ANSHEKI 3 / 2  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
Dear Future Roommate,
I sing in the shower, I'm very cranky when I wake up, I have way too many pairs of sneakers, and I am exceptionally tidy. But we'll get used to each other's quirks. Right off, you should know that I am passionate about sports and exercise. I work out religiously, play basketball, and make sure I consume two hundred grams of protein everyday. Warning: the cottage cheese and hard-boiled eggs will smell. My rigorous training has helped me balance academics, volunteer work, and family time. I hope my fitness-oriented lifestyle does not intimidate you but rather encourages you to exercise, too.

I am an only child, and I will be the first in my family to receive a college education in the United States. Though I've been brought up in a very traditional Korean household, I have acclimated to American culture, and frankly, I believe I am more American than I am Korean. I prefer oatmeal and scrambled eggs to fried rice and kimchi. With my mother, I speak "Konglish," a combination of English and Korean; with my father and peers, I speak English only. I never limit myself to Korean friends, as I am friends with everyone at school.

I plan to major in neuroscience and then attend medical school, a dream of mine since the 5th grade. I take school very seriously, but I won't make our room a study hall. I can't wait to meet you. I hope we can eat healthy foods, be workout partners, and play pick up games of basketball. Words cannot describe how excited I am to venture into this new chapter of our lives at Stanford.

Ukeboy 2 / 9  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
"I prefer oatmeal and scrambled eggs to fried rice and kimchi."
I'm asian too, and most people don't think that i'm eating rice and pansit for breakfast. I think that you should leave that out.

"I can't wait to meet you."
Rephrase that so you don't sound too creepy. I know you may not be really excited about meeting your roommate, but i personally would be a little worried if a guy i'm going to be spending a year with said, " I can't wait to meet you."

Other than that i think you got its informative and will get whatever point you are attempting to make across to your future roommate.
caboard493 5 / 8  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
This is a very nice essay, but here are a fe things I believe you should change:

"but rather encourage you to exercise"

Though this sentence is very nice, the syntax is somewhat convoluted
"With my mother, I speak "Konglish," a combination of English and Korean; with my father and peers, I speak English only."

"I hope we can eat healthy food "

oh and I like the portion about rice and kimchi.

Good luck!
livedreamfly3 3 / 26  
Dec 30, 2010   #4
your sentences are formatted really plainly.
I enjoy the ideas a lot I just wish there was some unique flow to the essay itself. :)
overall good job!
ha. i'm korean too. :P

**please edit my northwestern essay!


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