Thanks in advanced for feedback. I am not the strongest writer, so I am really eager to get some feedback on how i can improve this essay and other Stanford essays I am writing.
Dear Roommate,
Congratulations on being accepted into Stanford! I am extremely excited to meet you and share in our experience at Stanford. I know we will both have a positive experience studying at this amazing institution under the California sun the next four years.
The first day we meet, I will introduce myself as "Ryan O'Malley, pleased to meet you." My distinctly Asian straight black hair, slanted eyes and facial complexion might confuse you. Maybe you pictured a wavy brown haired, tall fair skinned Irish-American farm boy from Iowa. However, as you get to know me you will see that could not be farther from the truth. I come from a vibrant and diverse Iowa town, and I know very little about farming.
Do not be fooled by my initial shy demeanor. Once I feel acquaintance has been established, I will not cease talking and may drive you crazy with my inquisitiveness. I see the world and people I encounter are fertile ground for gathering information to satisfy my thirst for knowledge and my natural curiosity. I love to have long conversations with friends, family and teachers on complex scientific and political topics. I tend to be independent minded and very opinionated, but on the contrary I am opened minded and like to hear others opinions. Please do not be afraid to share your opinion on any issue or topic I raise. I often ponder and analyze how life works and try to understand the reasons for world conflicts.
Despite being very opinionated, I am caring and considerate. I eagerly help my parents with chores and favors for my friends. I will accommodate and adjust to living with you if you will do the same to me. In the late afternoon (If I do not have classes) I will probably be jogging around town and campus to relieve stress. I am not an athlete, but I love to get a dose of endorphins.
Please do not be bothered by the sounds of my classical music collection. Some evenings you may hear tranquil Bach others lively Vivaldi and energetic Tchaikovsky. Classical music brings me peace and concentration on the tasks I must accomplish.
I am incredibly excited to meet you and to share our freshman experience.
Sincerely,
Name
I see the world and people I encounter areas a fertile ground for gathering information to satisfy my thirst for knowledge and my natural curiosity.
I think your paper would benefit from specific examples as to which complex scientific and political topics you talk about, but otherwise, the paper flows very well, and you have just the right dose of humor in it.
