Dear Future Roommate,
I sing in the shower, I'm very cranky when I wake up, I have way too many pairs of sneakers, and I am exceptionally tidy. But we'll get used to each other's quirks. Right off, you should know that I am passionate about sports and exercise. I work out religiously, play basketball, and make sure I consume two hundred grams of protein everyday. Warning: the cottage cheese and hard-boiled eggs will smell. My rigorous training has helped me balance academics, volunteer work, and family time. I hope my fitness-oriented lifestyle does not intimidate you but rather encourages you to exercise, too.
I am an only child, and I will be the first in my family to receive a college education in the United States. Though I've been brought up in a very traditional Korean household, I have acclimated to American culture, and frankly, I believe I am more American than I am Korean. I prefer oatmeal and scrambled eggs to fried rice and kimchi. With my mother, I speak "Konglish," a combination of English and Korean; with my father and peers, I speak English only. I never limit myself to Korean friends, as I am friends with everyone at school.
I plan to major in neuroscience and then attend medical school, a dream of mine since the 5th grade. I take school very seriously, but I won't make our room a study hall. I can't wait to meet you. I hope we can eat healthy foods, be workout partners, and play pick up games of basketball. Words cannot describe how excited I am to venture into this new chapter of our lives at Stanford.
"I prefer oatmeal and scrambled eggs to fried rice and kimchi."
I'm asian too, and most people don't think that i'm eating rice and pansit for breakfast. I think that you should leave that out.
"I can't wait to meet you."
Rephrase that so you don't sound too creepy. I know you may not be really excited about meeting your roommate, but i personally would be a little worried if a guy i'm going to be spending a year with said, " I can't wait to meet you."
Other than that i think you got its informative and will get whatever point you are attempting to make across to your future roommate.
This is a very nice essay, but here are a fe things I believe you should change:
"but rather encourage you to exercise"
Though this sentence is very nice, the syntax is somewhat convoluted
"With my mother, I speak "Konglish," a combination of English and Korean; with my father and peers, I speak English only."
"I hope we can eat healthy food "
oh and I like the portion about rice and kimchi.
Good luck!
