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An experience that encompasses the meaning of diversity to you? NURSING PAPER FOR DENVER UNIVERSITY



jmw1479 1 / -  
Sep 21, 2015   #1
Diversity

"The concept of of diversity encompasses acceptance and respect. It means understanding and recognizing our individual differences."

I have restarted this essay about 100 times but I keep coming to roadblocks because either my thoughts are in spanish that don't translate exactly to english, or I find that just one encounter alone doesn't demonstrate the full importance of diversity. I keep thinking, "How can I fully describe the meaning of diversity when there is so much diversity that I have yet to experienced?" Then I realize that this mindset is an important part of the concept of diversity; How grand the diversity of the world is and the recognition of how much there is to learn.

I did not travel during high school or college due to financial restrictions. But I desired to know more about the world so since then every decision I made was to put me in a position to be able to travel. Before coming to Bolivia I was unable to speak spanish. I knew facts but I didn't have a deep understanding or knowledge of the language. It was the same for the country and the people. I had read all of the history books that were recomended and read every travel website I could find. That information did not provide me with the experience of cultural celebrations, of the realization how much history I would learn from tienda owners and taxi drivers. It didn't fully illustrate the history of tradition or the community sharedness in the campo. I did not understand the importance and difficulties of the quechua language or the importance of pachamama. I didn't know what it would mean to begin to understand and apprieciate such customs that before which I am ashamed to say seemed strange. Now I know I am blessed to feel at home in a country that once seemed so far removed from my reality.

The diversity of Bolivia is immense. Every barrio y pueblo that I visit has a different landscape, a unique history, and a different story to tell. The combination of them all creates an increidibly richness in culture that is impossible to comprehend from reading the history. Without the emotional experience of living something it is hard to have a true knowledge. Es dificil de conocer. Through this experience I also realize that I do not have a full knowledge of the diversity of people of the United States. Solo conozco New England. When I return to the U.S. I plan on expanding my knowledge by traveling to states I haven't been to and talking to people from parts of the country that I don't know. Quiero conocer mi pais. One of my career goals is to become a Nurse Practioner. Through school I will develop skills for nursing that with my desire to have full understanding of a person will be how I will be help to truly help.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Sep 22, 2015   #2
Jesse, opening your essay with a quotation is an excellent touch. It brings the topic immediately into the spotlight and delivers your idea regarding diversity. It also gives the reader an idea of what to expect in terms of discussion in the succeeding paragraphs. I would have liked to see a reference to the original speaker / person who made the statement that you are quoting. By adding the original source, you convey the character of a learned person who takes note of relevant information.

Word of advice, I know that you have smatterings of Spanish within the essay because you want to prove your diverse character / experience in life. That does not help your essay. You need to speak straight English in this instance. The reason? Imagine if your essay falls into the lap of a reviewer who isn't fluent in Spanish or does not have any idea of the meaning of Spanish words? You will successfully manage to irritate the reviewer which could detrimental to your application. Take my advice, in as much as America is a diverse country, it is still safer to speak English alone when applying to colleges and universities. I am of course, assuming that you are trying to gain enrollment in an American university? You are saying that you did not speak Spanish before coming to Bolivia, and that you are planning to return to the U.S. so I assume that English is your mother tongue ?

Why not try to portray yourself in a different manner? Rather than trying to impress the reviewer by the fact that you did what you could to travel to Bolivia in order to experience and learn about diversity, why not talk about the two aspects of your life that have created the diverse person that you are today? What I mean is, why not explain this unique experience of diversity in terms of the way that you successfully managed to combine the best of the Bolivian culture and society with the best of the American ways. The combination of the two can encompass the meaning of diversity to you while also delivering information about your unique character and traits. In other words, explain diversity as it exists within you. Maybe, just maybe, such an approach to the essay will help you better address the prompt.


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