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"an experience worth the try" - why Chicago??



camucros 3 / 4  
Oct 28, 2010   #1
Should i shorten it?

Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago.

When people ask me what my first-choice university is, I simply answer Chicago. A gasp usually follows follows. The many connotations this city has, from Al Capone to Chicago Bulls, from the Sears Tower to the Great Fire of 1871, all gather worldwide attention. But they don't gasp because of these elements, but because of the association of that name to the University of Chicago. With 85 Nobel Prices and 46 Rhodes Scholars I am the one who asks, "Am I up to the challenge? Am I ready to attend a first-class university?" My answer is yes for a simple reason, my sincere and true hope for knowledge and opportunities.

On being accepted to the University of Chicago I would expect, literally, a thousand doors to open. Being able to study side by side with thousands of the strongest applicants from around the world would be a privilege as well as a stimulus for my intellectual interests. The diverse student body means exposure to various cultures, as well as ideas. With people from 68 countries besides the Americans, one can surely make a home for himself. Investigating the student body from Chicago, I sense that the university is not only interested on multifaceted students, but also encourages them to continue developing their interests.

Since I have never been able to visit the city, and more unfortunately the campus, I guide myself by university rankings, specifically those dealing with economics programs. Chicago's privileged positions reflect the University's dedication and serious work. How many faculties in the world count on five Nobel laureates? Not many for sure. What I can tell is that on the path to becoming a world citizen, there are few people that can prepare me as thoroughly as these professors for the vast, real world. I seek to take advantage of Chicago's approach to economics as "an incomparably powerful tool for understanding society" and apply it wherever life leads me. This ambition for world citizenship seems to fit with the University's ideology of humanity, as can be seen on the Community Service Center or the more than 40 student organizations dedicated to the physical world around them. What is a good education worth if one won't give back to society? Among the many options I seek to take advantage of is the one about working with the city of Chicago. One must make a difference wherever one lives, get involved in the community, and understand the people. I definitely wish to help, not only here but wherever I go, whether it is my native South America or someplace else. Also, I place extreme importance on the study-abroad programs. From Jerusalem, to Oaxaca, to Cape Town, exotic places with exotic diversity, I hope to satiate my desire for adventure. During the four years I wish to expend here I learn as much from life as from my area of studies.

And what about the Windy City? It has so much to offer; music, museums, history and tourism. By fate or by logic, I don't know, these relate with my areas of interest. Furthermore, this is a motivation to access the University's internship program through CAPS, and a possibility to apply what I learn in classrooms to real life scenarios. As a major economic center in America and in the world, I may understand the role economics play in society as well as how its mechanism functions. On the other side, the city is full of history. From gangsters and the prohibition to modern day Hyde Park, there is always history in the making. By this means, I hope to exploit the Chicago Studies to their maximum potential upon admittance.

Why do I want to attend Chicago? Why go to the city Daniel Burnham called "Paris on the Prairie"? Well, simply because under the gothic ceilings I expect to find education, opportunities, challenges, culture, fun, diversity, wisdom, advice, sports, music, numbers, friendship, surprises, lessons, creativity, objectivity and, cheesy as it may sound, an experience worth the try.

northerlywind 2 / 5  
Oct 28, 2010   #2
You should, it's rather wordy.

"My answer is yes for a simple reason: my sincere and true hope for knowledge and opportunities."

"With people from 68 countries besides the Americans, one can surely make a home for himself"
Fragmented sentence! Also, when using 'one' it's usually implied neuter, so using 'himself' is a little off. Try something like "With over 60 countries represented at Chicago... blah blah" The second part of that sentence even seems irrelevant to the first. In general that sentence is confusing and I suggest you just crap it rather than try to reword it.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 4, 2010   #3
My answer is yes for a simple reason, my sincere and true hope for knowledge and opportunities.---This is still not as good as if you mention a specific interest... any specific career goal or artistic goal. You may mean these words, but they still represent a general idea that anyone could express. At the end of that first paragraph it would be great to see a sentence that is about a totally unique idea.

You have a really nice way of writing, but the "specificity" part is lacking. What if you could plan your approach to your chosen career? What if Chicago was the perfect place to do it? Tell me about the resources and clubs at this school that will be more useful to you as you begin this process of becoming an expert in your chosen field.

:-)


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