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"Ideas worth spreading"/ Columbia/ "Meaningful"

macklemorebro 1 / 2  
Dec 27, 2012   #1
Is this boring? How can I improve it?

Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events (1500 characters).

Can you imagine a conference of the greatest minds of the world? The speakers that TED attracts are akin to the scientists at the Fifth Solvay Conference, which revolutionized particle and theoretical physics. These conferences draw experts and speakers from a myriad of fields to talk for a maximum of 20 minutes about topics ranging from motivation to cancer. And put simply, they are amazing. Justin Hall-Tipping, the CEO of an energy-affiliated startup called NanoHoldings and the spotlight of my first TED talk, stated, "The power plant of tomorrow is no power plant. The grid of tomorrow is no grid." He was referring to the newfound ability of embedded nanomaterials in windows to efficiently siphon radiated energy from the sun and convert it to electricity. This is technology that has been developed less than a year ago, and is being presented in an unesoteric manner for the public to learn about. I personally identify with their mission to stimulate communities; I have always been interested in bringing knowledge to the public. But what separates TED events from any other lecture is the charisma of the speakers, who are able to so effectively communicate their message that they can woo viewers from all backgrounds. I glean from TED talks sophisticated content presented in a fresh and compelling manner. It is no wonder they pride themselves on "ideas worth spreading."
haneom94 4 / 7 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
You don't talk about why that book/topic is interesting to you. You scratch at it towards the end, but you need to elaborate more on why it is significant for you personally.
OP macklemorebro 1 / 2  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
what can i remove from my current paragraph?
auro 1 / 3  
Dec 29, 2012   #4
The paragraph seems to focus solely on TED and everything is about TED.

I think you need to identify how that event was meaningful - how did it affect you, your thoughts, aspirations, desires, etc - instead of a description of the event. As of now, it seems like an advertisement, or something TED would put on their web page, or a review.

Critique mine!
abenelazar 2 / 19 1  
Dec 29, 2012   #5
It may focus on TED for much of it, but the reader understands from the TED focus that you are a thinker, and rather well-versed. The problem with this is that it is all it focuses on...you may be a really smart guy, but if you sit and watch everything happen around you, who cares?

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