"experienced poverty and hardship" - Nursing Entrance Personal Statement

Hi everyone. I am to write a personal statement of my skills, strength and interest for a nursing entrance and need some help with regards to grammar and sentence structures. Thank you for all the help:

Nursing Application - Assistance With Grammar

I am suppose to write a personal statement about the skills, strengths and interests that will make me a good candidate for the nursing program. Need help with grammar for the following. Thank you very much:

Max words: 250

Having been a student for most of my life, I have amassed qualities that make me a prime candidate for your nursing program. For instance as a student of life sciences I have learned good observational skills. Then as a naval reservist I developed physical skills and as a Filipino-Canadian I am fluent in two languages. Finally as a peer councilor I gained through training emotional skills. These are all skills essential for a successful nurse to have. First a nurse must be able to spot if something is out of the ordinary especially in patient's condition. Second a nurse must be strong to be able to handle the physical demands of nursing. Finally a nurse must be caring, understanding and non-judgmental since patients comes from all walks of life.

Being bilingual is a strength of mine that I cherish dearly since it allows me access and exposure to numerous cultures. Thus greatly enhancing my understanding of the world and its people. But having an open mind is by far the greatest strength I posses because it enable me to learn new and interesting things. Thus I was able to try new things I never thought I could such as become a naval reservist.

Having experienced poverty and hardship first hand brought about my great interest in humanism. This lead me to pursue higher education and be involve in the Red Cross. For an educated person can reach further in life and do more for those who are in need.

I have been a student most of my life and was fortunate to have developed skills, strengths and interests that make me a good candidate for your nursing program.

- was could be replaced by am. I have been a student for most of my life and am fortunate to have developed skills, strengths and interests that make me a (use a stronger word instead of good - prime, etc.) candidate for your nursing program

Tks for helping me. Here are some of my opinions, hope that they help :D

I have been a student most of my life and was fortunate to have developed skills, strengths and interests that make me a good candidate for your nursing program.

I think you can rewrite this sentence like this "Having been a student for all those years of my life, I have properly cultivated myself to have the best qualities to become a ... (you can add what u want to be here, for ex. a nurse :D). All the skills, strengths and interests that I possess can make me a good match for your nursing program.

Skills such as the abilities to observe and take note of anything out of the ordinary which I learned as a student of life sciences while conducting numerous lab experiments.

I'm not sure how to correct this, because it's not a complete sentence. U haven't finished it yet :( I don't know what u want to mean. Sr.

As a construction worker for a couple of years I developed physical skills such as being able to lift, move, adjust and sometime restrain objects to prevent injuries to personnel. As a Chinese - Canadian I am fluent in both English and Mandarin, which greatly increases my communication skills. As a university student I have developed organizational and multitasking skills that enable me to handle the heavy course load. Finally through life experiences and as a peer councilor I developed important emotional skills. Skills such as being caring, understanding, non-judgmental and the ability to empathize with people of varying background.

I like ur "As a ..." structure here. I just think that u can elaborate more on it. For ex, English and Mandarin can give u what advantage when learning nurse program (it helps u to easily read more books abt medical program, ...)

Being bilingual is a strength of mine which I cherish dearly since it has allowed me access and exposure to numerous cultures that makes up Canada. It has opened numerous doors for personal growth as numerous as the starts in the heaven. But having an open mind is the greatest strength I posses since through it I can take new ideas along with old ideas to strengthen who I am and what I believe in my attempt to change the world.

Being bilingual is a strength I cherish dearly ... I think u should use present tense here, don't use present perfect :D The last sentence is a bit confusing, but I'm not sure how to correct it. Sr.

Having experienced poverty and hardship first hand brought about my great interest in humanism. An interest, which lead me to be deeply involved in the Red Cross and other humanitarian organizations. There is no greater goal in life than to attempt to change the world one step at a time in making the lives of others better and dignified.

Due to the real poverty and hardship I have experienced, the awakening of my great interest in humanism has led me ...

That's all. Good luck to u !!!

Thanks a lot lucky mimi8592 ... your comment will surely help = )

I didnt help much. The essay is all urs :D
Hope u can help me with my essay too :D
Good luck!!! I appreciate your help

Thanks for helping me.

Is there any word limit for the personal statement? Is there is no word limit, i think you can write more specific about how you got the skills or ability and why is it importance for the course. I think this is what the colleges want to see in a personal statement.

Thanks again for your help.