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expressing my inner world through baking (UNC essay)



mariatateno 6 / 33  
Jan 6, 2011   #1
--------I am unsure if I am answering the question in the way they want me to.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Am I too repetitive/descriptive/boring? Should I incorporate other aspects like how my baking includes bits of Japanese/Singaporean elements because I take with me things from where I come from/grow up, my cultures intwine with diversity because I'm half singaporean, living in Japan and attending an international school ect----

People find many ways to express their inner world. Some write novels; others paint, perform, or debate; still others design elegant solutions to complex mathematical problems. How do you express your inner world, and how does the world around you respond?

The tantilising smell of the angry black berries rise up as I stare at my reflection in the uneven surface of the tart. Anger, confusion, and frustration evaporate when I enter the realm of baking. It is my intangible sanctuary, a place where I pour out feelings that even some of my closest friends cannot fully understand.

Confusion and indecisiveness ends up as a caramel marble cheesecake, the swirl of colour and mixture of texture exactly how I feel. Bittersweet chocolate drowned in burnt caramel portrays hurt and jealousy, and messy peanut butter - chocolate truffles express my frustration and stress. On days where I am happy, I will immerse myself in conjuring up a fluffy carrot cake topped with a generous dollop of cream cheese frosting. My love and compassion is tasted on circular cakes layered with intricate designs of whipped cream and decorated with evenly sized strawberries whilst chestnut puree squeezed through holes in a creamfiller cause them to flow gracefully onto a soft sponge base like tears, symbolising my sadness.

Those around me know I am sincere when they receive a sticky almond tart with an apology note, and my gratitude is expressed through the thank you card attached to the spicy cinnamon apple crumble. Baking has allowed me to express myself without words. The final product reflect my feelings, and like our ever changing emotions, the desserts are eaten whilst my negative feelings evaporate. The aftertaste is what lingers, happiness and contentment replacing the anxiety and stress that gnawed at my mind. I can now sift through what needs sorting after I expose to the world my feelings and emotions. For me, baking takes care of that.

How can I make it flow better??
Pleease suggest some improvements!!

jc2015 1 / 2  
Jan 7, 2011   #2
I think the topic is good but somehow some sentences are unnecessary or can even be seemed to show off.
Like the first sentence of your intro: "I have a unique way of expressing my inner world."
People know the prompt and if it's really unique, you should let people feel it instead of writing the word "unique" literally.
canes4life 3 / 46  
Jan 9, 2011   #3
Yeah i don't like the first sentence either. I think it sounds like you are regurgitating the prompt. Also I don't think learnt is a word. It should be learned. I like your essay. Interesting comparisons. I'm applying to UNC too. Good luck to you!


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