Extracurricular activities, work - need guidance on improvement in language and grammar!

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences that was particularly meaningful to you. (About 150 words)

For the last two and a half year ,I am working at Hoste Hainse .I have always wanted to contribute something back to my society and something to kids who are economically and emotionally deprived and thus tutoring the orphans and the abandoned ones gives me a sense of satisfaction.I have formed strong bonds with the children and instructing them provides me an opportunity to make them realize their true potential.Organising debate competition and story writing competition once in a week has been a weekly task for me which I enjoy very much because teaching such skills to them allows me to broaden the scope of my knowledge too.

I revised it to 106 words. Here's hoping it sounds like what you want to say in your statement.

I have been working at Hoste Hainse for the past two years and a half. This was an organization that helped local communities in Nepal. I enjoy my volunteer work there because it allows me tutor orphans and abandoned children. I have formed strong bonds with my wards and have done my best to inspire them to look towards a brighter future because they have the potential to do so. I helped organize activities such as debates and story writing competitions once a week. It is a task I enjoy very much because of the emotional and social growth that working with these children offers me.

In all honesty, you have a very good background to share with the reviewer. The only problem is that you need to learn how to tighten the essays or statements so that it makes your application stronger in terms of grammar usage.

Wow !! I liked it very much!
Thanks Holt!

Hi Shivani, below are my thoughts on your essay and I hope it helps in your revision;

- For the last two and a half years ,
- I amhave been working at Hoste Hainse .
-and thus tutoring the orphans and the abandoned ones
- and instructingteaching them provides me
- Organiz ing a debate competition
- and story writing competition once in a week has

There you have it Shivani, I hope that in my own little way, I am able to show you the difference from the original draft to the modified one. Overall, there are very minor enhancements that are very easy to correct and before I go, I would like to say, KUDOS to you for doing such a noble job in helping the ones who are in less fortunate.

Do let us know when you need additional help from us.

hello brother,,
let me give some corrections for you writing..

1.Organising(organizing)debate competition and story
2. debate competition and story writing competition once in a weekhas(have)been a weekly task
3 For the last two and a half year ,I am working at Hoste Hainse( i have been working)

may some corrections can help your writing and i do apologize if i have many mistake in my correction s.