My extracurricular essay about Ballroom dancing

I am writing my extracurricular essay for the common app and wanted to know if this sounded alright. Thanks for the feedback.

When the beat starts it enters my ears with a slow-quick-quick and my senses are off on a journey anchored by my feet, as we walk on water across the dance floor. When I dance I get lost in a world where I have the confidence to do anything, but this is not how I started out in the fifth grade. Back then I was learning the basic steps, but soon I would be learning how to carry myself and how to express my personality through how I moved on the dance floor. The teachings of ballroom dance have also left the dance floor, as I have become more willing to engage in conversation with strangers and have also developed a certain kind of rhythm in my writing. Ballroom dancing is not just about technique, it is also a way of life and for me, self discovery.

Overall the theme and writing is good.

The first sentence seems awkward to me, perhaps the comma there is unnecessary. Also, while this is more of an opinion on my part, I feel that the sentence "The teachings of ballroom dance have also left the dance floor..." could be stated in a way that helps the paragraph flow better.