Hey, can someone give me some suggestions to improve these essays?
Explain how you responded to a significant challenge that you have encountered and what you learned in the process. (maximum 200 words)Face your fear! Be courageous! ClichĂŠs about conquering fear can be found everywhere. However, facing one's fear is definitely an act that is easier said than done. When it is time to step up to the plate, people often freeze. Sad to say, I was one of those people; because I was a timid and extremely small child, I was deathly afraid of getting hit by anything. However, in grade 8, I obtained an inexplicable interest in the sport of Rugby; perhaps it was the surge of testosterone that came with adolescent. Nonetheless, I decided to try out for my high school rugby team two years later despite my miniature stature. My first season of rugby was to begin: this first season proved to be extremely rough: cuts, bruises, broken bones, and the injury list goes on and on. Every practice, every game, took every ounce of my will and energy, yet crazy as it sounds, I soldiered on. I was able to overcome my fear with persistence and tenacity. To this day, I am still playing rugby. The game, my coaches, and teammates have taught me the great potential of determination and preservation, and for that, I am thankful.
200/200
Tell us about an experience, in school or out, that caused you to rethink or change your perspective. What impact has this had on you? (maximum 200 words)Last year a friend of mine made her application to Harvard with high hopes and ambitions. However, she was rejected and she became just another statistic. I however, chose not to apply for any American universities. I pondered the rejection briefly then flushed it out of my mind and comforted myself by accepting the fact that Harvard was far too high of a target and admission was nearly unimaginable. This year, many of my friends had chosen to apply for universities up to the same caliber as schools such as Harvard. With these events, I began to question my definition of what was achievable. What is impossible? Were my friends foolish to even attempt to chase after such a dream? Questions such as these kept me up for many weeks. However, at the end of it all, I had reached a conclusion very different from my earlier way of thinking. Impossibility is a concept that we ourselves create when we don't act upon our ambition. Nothing is impossible unless we make it so. No goal is too high and no attempt is pointless or done in vain. "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky.
199/200
Describe your most significant group work experience including the role you played and your contributions. (maximum 200 words)Over the summer, I obtained an opportunity to work as a heath intern to various dietitians around Calgary through the careers next generation program. However, unlike the others in the program, I got the unique opportunity to begin working on various nutrition based project for grade K-12 students in Calgary. Although I was merely a high school student, I possessed a trait that none of the other dieticians had. My youth was both my greatest advantage and disadvantage. I was able to provide my insight upon which direction we should take these projects. Due to the fact that I have experienced firsthand experience as to which programs were exciting and which programs were dull. I consider this to be my most significant group work experience because I was able to work in a very professional setting with veterans of their prospective trades. I was able to immediately see the fruits of my hard work and it allowed me to begin to understand the long and tedious process behind the scenes of the hospitals. It was quite rewarding to know that my work is considered to be quite important and to see my efforts put into good use.
197/200
Explain how you responded to a significant challenge that you have encountered and what you learned in the process. (maximum 200 words)Face your fear! Be courageous! ClichĂŠs about conquering fear can be found everywhere. However, facing one's fear is definitely an act that is easier said than done. When it is time to step up to the plate, people often freeze. Sad to say, I was one of those people; because I was a timid and extremely small child, I was deathly afraid of getting hit by anything. However, in grade 8, I obtained an inexplicable interest in the sport of Rugby; perhaps it was the surge of testosterone that came with adolescent. Nonetheless, I decided to try out for my high school rugby team two years later despite my miniature stature. My first season of rugby was to begin: this first season proved to be extremely rough: cuts, bruises, broken bones, and the injury list goes on and on. Every practice, every game, took every ounce of my will and energy, yet crazy as it sounds, I soldiered on. I was able to overcome my fear with persistence and tenacity. To this day, I am still playing rugby. The game, my coaches, and teammates have taught me the great potential of determination and preservation, and for that, I am thankful.
200/200
Tell us about an experience, in school or out, that caused you to rethink or change your perspective. What impact has this had on you? (maximum 200 words)Last year a friend of mine made her application to Harvard with high hopes and ambitions. However, she was rejected and she became just another statistic. I however, chose not to apply for any American universities. I pondered the rejection briefly then flushed it out of my mind and comforted myself by accepting the fact that Harvard was far too high of a target and admission was nearly unimaginable. This year, many of my friends had chosen to apply for universities up to the same caliber as schools such as Harvard. With these events, I began to question my definition of what was achievable. What is impossible? Were my friends foolish to even attempt to chase after such a dream? Questions such as these kept me up for many weeks. However, at the end of it all, I had reached a conclusion very different from my earlier way of thinking. Impossibility is a concept that we ourselves create when we don't act upon our ambition. Nothing is impossible unless we make it so. No goal is too high and no attempt is pointless or done in vain. "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky.
199/200
Describe your most significant group work experience including the role you played and your contributions. (maximum 200 words)Over the summer, I obtained an opportunity to work as a heath intern to various dietitians around Calgary through the careers next generation program. However, unlike the others in the program, I got the unique opportunity to begin working on various nutrition based project for grade K-12 students in Calgary. Although I was merely a high school student, I possessed a trait that none of the other dieticians had. My youth was both my greatest advantage and disadvantage. I was able to provide my insight upon which direction we should take these projects. Due to the fact that I have experienced firsthand experience as to which programs were exciting and which programs were dull. I consider this to be my most significant group work experience because I was able to work in a very professional setting with veterans of their prospective trades. I was able to immediately see the fruits of my hard work and it allowed me to begin to understand the long and tedious process behind the scenes of the hospitals. It was quite rewarding to know that my work is considered to be quite important and to see my efforts put into good use.
197/200