yeah, another one of these UC prompts. I'm still writing it. Things I'm not sure of, whether it's word choice, if it's an unnecessary detail, or grammar stuff are in red. Feedback please!
I used to think I was deprived (of opportunities) . Looking back at it now, I realized what a ridiculous (foolish/absurd/ludicrous) thought that was! In fact, compared to some of my peers (in some respects) , I'm rather blessed! (Coming from a Chinese/Asian/multicultural background widened my scope of the world) My family is to be thanked for the opportunities I've been exposed to. I know they will support me in (whatever I choose to do) the medical aspirations (veterinary aspirations) I have.
My family is not rich. In the first four years of my life, we lived in a shabby apartment. Dad was an auto mechanic, and Mom was a nanny. Oftentimes they were busy, so my older sister, Lulu, took care of me. (During this time I had my first pet, a hamster. This hamster led to my growing love for animals and a desire to help them.) Then at age five, my mom, sister, and I went to China. It was a whole new world, with a new language and people. Four years I lived in China, and those years were far from deprived; it was a time full of opportunities, and wonderful experiences. I enjoyed the food, learning about my culture, and the occasional sightseeing trips around China. School was more rigorous compared to school in the US; I had (tons of) homework every night. I can remember my mother helping me with math problems, and we'd work late into the night. As a reward for good test grades, my mom would treat me to McDonald's or KFC; because I ate Chinese food every day, I appreciated the rare opportunity to gorge on delicious junk food (that opinion changed for the better) . If I misbehaved, I got beat. Though I resented the beatings, I understood that my behavior was bad, and that I deserved it.
Returning to the US was like that day I went to China. English was the foreign language, and American culture was incomprehensible. I couldn't talk to my fourth grade classmates, who had endless questions about China. At the time, my mom and sister stayed in China, so it was just me and my dad. He was (instrumental) in re-teaching me the English language. I learned new words and read books every day --- I soaked up vocabulary like a sponge [CLICHED need better phrasing] . I went through a time of disliking my Asian background, because some kids would make fun of my appearance and my race. Overtime I learned to ignore their remarks, and I became stronger instead. Being insulted by others, and knowing how it feels (,) also made me sensitive (sympathetic/empathetic) to others' feelings; I am open-minded and judge others neutrally.
Despite being a Chinese/Asian family, my parents were neither strict nor pressuring, as defined by stereotypes typically associated with Asian parents. On the contrary, they were quite lenient. All they ask of me is to keep up with grades; they did not expect me to get straight A's. When I struggle with homework, I always go to my sister. Thanks to her excellent tutoring, I have been in a higher level math class since eighth grade. There were also times when I was envious of my sister's intelligence; I turned that negative emotion to a motivator for success. Math and science became the two most important subjects, and I strived to do well in these classes, because they are essential to my career aspirations.
When I wanted to do track in ninth grade, my parents were supportive.
I used to think I was deprived (of opportunities) . Looking back at it now, I realized what a ridiculous (foolish/absurd/ludicrous) thought that was! In fact, compared to some of my peers (in some respects) , I'm rather blessed! (Coming from a Chinese/Asian/multicultural background widened my scope of the world) My family is to be thanked for the opportunities I've been exposed to. I know they will support me in (whatever I choose to do) the medical aspirations (veterinary aspirations) I have.
My family is not rich. In the first four years of my life, we lived in a shabby apartment. Dad was an auto mechanic, and Mom was a nanny. Oftentimes they were busy, so my older sister, Lulu, took care of me. (During this time I had my first pet, a hamster. This hamster led to my growing love for animals and a desire to help them.) Then at age five, my mom, sister, and I went to China. It was a whole new world, with a new language and people. Four years I lived in China, and those years were far from deprived; it was a time full of opportunities, and wonderful experiences. I enjoyed the food, learning about my culture, and the occasional sightseeing trips around China. School was more rigorous compared to school in the US; I had (tons of) homework every night. I can remember my mother helping me with math problems, and we'd work late into the night. As a reward for good test grades, my mom would treat me to McDonald's or KFC; because I ate Chinese food every day, I appreciated the rare opportunity to gorge on delicious junk food (that opinion changed for the better) . If I misbehaved, I got beat. Though I resented the beatings, I understood that my behavior was bad, and that I deserved it.
Returning to the US was like that day I went to China. English was the foreign language, and American culture was incomprehensible. I couldn't talk to my fourth grade classmates, who had endless questions about China. At the time, my mom and sister stayed in China, so it was just me and my dad. He was (instrumental) in re-teaching me the English language. I learned new words and read books every day --- I soaked up vocabulary like a sponge [CLICHED need better phrasing] . I went through a time of disliking my Asian background, because some kids would make fun of my appearance and my race. Overtime I learned to ignore their remarks, and I became stronger instead. Being insulted by others, and knowing how it feels (,) also made me sensitive (sympathetic/empathetic) to others' feelings; I am open-minded and judge others neutrally.
Despite being a Chinese/Asian family, my parents were neither strict nor pressuring, as defined by stereotypes typically associated with Asian parents. On the contrary, they were quite lenient. All they ask of me is to keep up with grades; they did not expect me to get straight A's. When I struggle with homework, I always go to my sister. Thanks to her excellent tutoring, I have been in a higher level math class since eighth grade. There were also times when I was envious of my sister's intelligence; I turned that negative emotion to a motivator for success. Math and science became the two most important subjects, and I strived to do well in these classes, because they are essential to my career aspirations.
When I wanted to do track in ninth grade, my parents were supportive.