PLEASE CRITIQUE. Thank You in advance.
prompt #1 states, "Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."
The World I Come From
My father always told me about the importance of education and that without it, the future is bleak. Fleeing from a war-struck country of Somalia, we migrated to the slums of Nairobi, Kenya. Money was always short so my father would spend his earnings providing for my mother and my brothers. A couple months later, we were fortunate enough immigrate to America where my father averaged $20,000 a year, supporting a family of eight. My mother could not find work because she never graduated from high school, so instead raise us. Times were extremely rough to the point where some days showering was not possible because of my father inability to pay the bill. We had gone through many months without sufficient heat during Minnesota's harsh winters, but we never complained and always believed that the next day would be better. Every day after work, he would say "It isn't going to be like this forever son, don't you worry," and I always trusted him. Going to school with the clothes I wore the day before made me an easy victim of ridicule, but I knew that one day it will be all over. Living with my parents and five younger siblings in a small two bedroom apartment made realize that my life has to be better and that I must become the first in my family to go to college. My parents knew that I had the potential of contributing to society despite the dangerous neighborhood or the small amount of money my father brought in. This experience gave me the motivation I needed to succeed, but it was not going to be easy. Being the oldest of my siblings, I have my responsibilities to fulfill like assisting my brothers with their school work making sure they do not fall behind. My mother was not familiar of the educational standards here in America so I had to tutor my siblings. I also had to help out with my family's income by working large hours with my father which gave me less time to focus on what is more important, education. Despite my economic status, I made school my refuge because of reading, which was an escape for the predicaments of life. Each night I would bring a flashlight and read under my blanket long after bedtime. My mother would take the flashlight away from me, telling me to go sleep, but I would still manage to read what is left of my book in the dim light of the bedroom. I rapidly took interest in reading books about how cars, planes, and houses are built which led me to compete in the Greater San Diego Engineering Fair. Even though I received third place, the medal earned was the most valuable thing in the world to me. I remember wearing it to school as if I accomplished the impossible. From that day, I made intentions of pursuing a path in engineering. During high school, things seemed to look up as I was excelling in my classes. I turned in my assignments early, went for tutoring during lunch, and scored well on tests, until my father's business nearly collapsed. Coincidentally, I took up many more hours of work in order to help my father with the rent and other bills which caused my academic decline during my junior year. I learned that I must be able to juggle the responsibilities of working and being a student, even if it meant sacrificing numerous hours of studying. There are no excuses is what my father always says. I was taught from a young age that life is never easy and that you have to fight for your dreams and move on. I understood how the world works and that nothing unearned is free. Despite a past full of struggles and trials, I will always persevere through thick or thin and will overcome any obstacles in my way. They say the only source of knowledge is experience. It is my desire to explore the world around me. This is who I am now. I cannot wait to see who I am in four years.
prompt #1 states, "Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."
The World I Come From
My father always told me about the importance of education and that without it, the future is bleak. Fleeing from a war-struck country of Somalia, we migrated to the slums of Nairobi, Kenya. Money was always short so my father would spend his earnings providing for my mother and my brothers. A couple months later, we were fortunate enough immigrate to America where my father averaged $20,000 a year, supporting a family of eight. My mother could not find work because she never graduated from high school, so instead raise us. Times were extremely rough to the point where some days showering was not possible because of my father inability to pay the bill. We had gone through many months without sufficient heat during Minnesota's harsh winters, but we never complained and always believed that the next day would be better. Every day after work, he would say "It isn't going to be like this forever son, don't you worry," and I always trusted him. Going to school with the clothes I wore the day before made me an easy victim of ridicule, but I knew that one day it will be all over. Living with my parents and five younger siblings in a small two bedroom apartment made realize that my life has to be better and that I must become the first in my family to go to college. My parents knew that I had the potential of contributing to society despite the dangerous neighborhood or the small amount of money my father brought in. This experience gave me the motivation I needed to succeed, but it was not going to be easy. Being the oldest of my siblings, I have my responsibilities to fulfill like assisting my brothers with their school work making sure they do not fall behind. My mother was not familiar of the educational standards here in America so I had to tutor my siblings. I also had to help out with my family's income by working large hours with my father which gave me less time to focus on what is more important, education. Despite my economic status, I made school my refuge because of reading, which was an escape for the predicaments of life. Each night I would bring a flashlight and read under my blanket long after bedtime. My mother would take the flashlight away from me, telling me to go sleep, but I would still manage to read what is left of my book in the dim light of the bedroom. I rapidly took interest in reading books about how cars, planes, and houses are built which led me to compete in the Greater San Diego Engineering Fair. Even though I received third place, the medal earned was the most valuable thing in the world to me. I remember wearing it to school as if I accomplished the impossible. From that day, I made intentions of pursuing a path in engineering. During high school, things seemed to look up as I was excelling in my classes. I turned in my assignments early, went for tutoring during lunch, and scored well on tests, until my father's business nearly collapsed. Coincidentally, I took up many more hours of work in order to help my father with the rent and other bills which caused my academic decline during my junior year. I learned that I must be able to juggle the responsibilities of working and being a student, even if it meant sacrificing numerous hours of studying. There are no excuses is what my father always says. I was taught from a young age that life is never easy and that you have to fight for your dreams and move on. I understood how the world works and that nothing unearned is free. Despite a past full of struggles and trials, I will always persevere through thick or thin and will overcome any obstacles in my way. They say the only source of knowledge is experience. It is my desire to explore the world around me. This is who I am now. I cannot wait to see who I am in four years.
