"For weeks my life was in shambles. It seemed like everything was crumbling around me: my relationships, my security, my sense of family. My mom stared across the counter at me."
Hello there,
The prompt is broad: "As Georgetown is a diverse community, the Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you." I think this does a pretty good job. Im not comfortable with my parents editing it as its so deeply personal to us all, I would prefer it be private. I think this describes a really integral part of my character, which is my resilience. What do you think? ANY critiques are welcome :) Thank you very much!!
-lilbean
ESSAY:
For weeks my life was in shambles. It seemed like everything was crumbling around me: my relationships, my security, my sense of family. My mom stared across the counter at me. As he raised his glistening eyes to meet mine, he said he was admitting himself to a rehabilitation facility. He said we deserved better, and I did not disagree.
Thus, I entered into my junior year with my dad in a rehabilitation facility. I jumped into one of the most academically challenging years of my life while my biggest cheerleader and support system was two hours away, and limited to one phone call a week. Navigating the churning ocean of responsibilities included maintaining my grades, studying for the SAT, and trying to hide the emotions that were constantly brewing inside.
Contrasting with the normalcy of my identity at school, my identity at home was shifting at an alarming rate. I was no longer a child, free to hang out with my friends whenever I wanted. Instead, I was making sure my two little sisters were bathed and in pajamas by their bedtimes. I was making them breakfast, and brushing their hair out of their eyes as the weak sun lazily climbed over the trees in the backyard. I could not afford to break down, or be weak. My academic success was personal, and only affected my life. How I held myself at home was for my little sisters. They deserved stability, no matter the circumstances. Falling apart was not an option, no matter how broken I felt on the inside.
After my dad came home, it was like a haze was lifted. He re entered our lives, head metaphorically bowed, apologetic for the tumult and insecurity that he left in his wake. Our lives moved slowly back to equilibrium as he resumed his role as caregiver, I as student and teenager.
I moved through the actions that I had performed before my dad left, but they had taken on a new meaning. Inside, my identity and understanding of myself was altered forever.
Juggling successfully the responsibilities of the previous months, I was filled with a twisted sense of gratitude and joy. I was far more powerful and strong than I had ever believed. As I reflected on the past months, I could have let my situation be the anchor that held me back from being successful and working to my full potential. I could have let my teachers know my situation and request they go easy on me, as I had familial responsibilities to fulfill. But, I refused. Instead, my situation catapulted me forward. I played off the fact I was in the midst of a whirlwind, and was proud of myself that I could still perform while the winds of change and responsibility whipped furiously around me.
I have learned not to let myself be defined or limited by what happens to me. Ultimately, these things cannot be controlled. Yet, the response I offer in the face of adversity or change is what defines me because it comes from within me.
This is ultimately how I learned to work through hardship. It is a lesson that has served me well and I am glad I was able to learn it young. There is something profoundly beautiful in holding it all together when, every moment, it is threatening to blow to pieces.
Hello there,
The prompt is broad: "As Georgetown is a diverse community, the Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you." I think this does a pretty good job. Im not comfortable with my parents editing it as its so deeply personal to us all, I would prefer it be private. I think this describes a really integral part of my character, which is my resilience. What do you think? ANY critiques are welcome :) Thank you very much!!
-lilbean
ESSAY:
For weeks my life was in shambles. It seemed like everything was crumbling around me: my relationships, my security, my sense of family. My mom stared across the counter at me. As he raised his glistening eyes to meet mine, he said he was admitting himself to a rehabilitation facility. He said we deserved better, and I did not disagree.
Thus, I entered into my junior year with my dad in a rehabilitation facility. I jumped into one of the most academically challenging years of my life while my biggest cheerleader and support system was two hours away, and limited to one phone call a week. Navigating the churning ocean of responsibilities included maintaining my grades, studying for the SAT, and trying to hide the emotions that were constantly brewing inside.
Contrasting with the normalcy of my identity at school, my identity at home was shifting at an alarming rate. I was no longer a child, free to hang out with my friends whenever I wanted. Instead, I was making sure my two little sisters were bathed and in pajamas by their bedtimes. I was making them breakfast, and brushing their hair out of their eyes as the weak sun lazily climbed over the trees in the backyard. I could not afford to break down, or be weak. My academic success was personal, and only affected my life. How I held myself at home was for my little sisters. They deserved stability, no matter the circumstances. Falling apart was not an option, no matter how broken I felt on the inside.
After my dad came home, it was like a haze was lifted. He re entered our lives, head metaphorically bowed, apologetic for the tumult and insecurity that he left in his wake. Our lives moved slowly back to equilibrium as he resumed his role as caregiver, I as student and teenager.
I moved through the actions that I had performed before my dad left, but they had taken on a new meaning. Inside, my identity and understanding of myself was altered forever.
Juggling successfully the responsibilities of the previous months, I was filled with a twisted sense of gratitude and joy. I was far more powerful and strong than I had ever believed. As I reflected on the past months, I could have let my situation be the anchor that held me back from being successful and working to my full potential. I could have let my teachers know my situation and request they go easy on me, as I had familial responsibilities to fulfill. But, I refused. Instead, my situation catapulted me forward. I played off the fact I was in the midst of a whirlwind, and was proud of myself that I could still perform while the winds of change and responsibility whipped furiously around me.
I have learned not to let myself be defined or limited by what happens to me. Ultimately, these things cannot be controlled. Yet, the response I offer in the face of adversity or change is what defines me because it comes from within me.
This is ultimately how I learned to work through hardship. It is a lesson that has served me well and I am glad I was able to learn it young. There is something profoundly beautiful in holding it all together when, every moment, it is threatening to blow to pieces.
