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"family troubles" - HELP WITH UC PROMPT 2 ESSAY!


audpeluso 1 / 1  
Oct 18, 2009   #1
Okay so I'm a terrible writer. I can't tell a story to save the life of me. I know what I want to say in my prompt, but i need help expressing it into a meaningful essay.

The promt is: "Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

Here's what I want to say:

The obstacle I want to talk about has to do with family troubles. 2009 was a crazy year for my family. My older brother got kicked out of the house for having alcohol parties, my little brother was caught drinking vodka at school. My older brother, moved in with my mom and was caught molesting my little sisters. We found out that he had been molested when he was 11 and that's why he's been so angry and distant from us all his life. We all thought that my older brother was going to kill himself because we told him he needed to get help. My mom, who is already an alcoholic and a drunk, got really depressed after all of this and handled the situation really poorly. She actually blamed it on my little sister! Anyways, then a couple months after this, my dad's really good friend died in our house of an overdose. He got pretty depressed.

During all of this, I have huge responsibilities at school. I am yearbook editor, class president, and ASB Vice president. Keeping my grades up and staying focused on all my other activities was soo hard. AND.. I couldn't ever talk to anyone about these family troubles. Everyone knew my older brother before he moved so if i said anything, talk would spread. So i had to find it in myself to stay focused. I had to really stop feeling sorry for myself and forget all these troubles. I didn't want to dissappoint anyone, everyone was expecting great things out of my this year and i had to fulfill all my duties and keep my grades up.

Anyways, I stopped feeling bad for myself and family and ended up staying really focused. I have realized that life is sad and painful, that's all. From this experience i have learned to stay positive, and focus. I have big goals in life and no challenge can overcome my ambition. I am strong and can stay focused no matter what goes on in my personal life.

I Know this is pretty confusing and cluttered so if you need more info or detail, i'll be glad to explain enything.

Please help me to express this in an essay!!! THANK YOU!
bulgakov 1 / 2  
Oct 18, 2009   #2
Why don't you start from here:
Okay so I'm a terrible writer. I can't tell a story to save the life of me.

And then you go "BUT" --> last year events vs your perseverance, how they changed you as a person. Something along these lines.

Good luck

Awful situation BTW, hope everything will be all right.
OP audpeluso 1 / 1  
Oct 18, 2009   #3
Thank you! I like your idea....GENIUS :]
I'm going to kncok it out right now...

and yes everything is alright. My family is very close and strong and we pulled through it very well. My brother and sisters are doing really really well :]


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