I have always been fascinated with personalities; Transfer

I have always been fascinated with personalities. Dating back to my middle school days, I would wonder as to why certain kids broke off into certain groups or cliques. Then I started to begin to come up with ideas on how this all happened and the reactions of interactions would differ from one child to another. Maybe my mind wasn't as developed as it is today to understand the different interests of each individual, but I still am very astonished by the study of human social behavior. After exploring my options, I believe that UIUC has all the right materials to help me expand my knowledge. From the Undergraduate Library, to the advisors in the Sociology department, I know without a doubt that UIUC will help me accomplish receiving my Bachelor's Degree in Sociology. At my current institution, I have taken the right classes to begin the path to transfer to a top University. Although I am grateful for all the resources and material that my institution has provided me with, I'm ready to take the next step in finishing what I started. Attending a top tier University with many inspired students will provide me with fuel to my competitive nature to succeed. Looking into all the clubs and extra curricular activities, I am very interested in getting involved to better myself as a student at the University. I will attempt to not only meet the standards of the University, but to go above and beyond to one day be standing in line waiting with my diploma to take a picture with then to be, the all new restored, Alma Mater.

Please let me know what needs to be done, any sort of criticism will not be taken in offense. Thank you!

I have always been fascinated with personalities. Dating back to my middle school days, I would wonder as to why certain kids broke off into certain groups or cliques. Then I started to begin to come up with ideas on how this all happened and the reactions of interactions would differ from one child to another.this is a bit weirdly worded, you should change this Maybe my mind wasn't as developed as it is today to understand the different interests of each individual, but I still am very astonished by the study of human social behavior. After exploring my options, I believe that UIUC has all the right materials to help me expand my knowledge. From the Undergraduate Library, to the advisors in the Sociology department, I know without a doubt that UIUC will help me accomplish receiving my Bachelor's Degree in Sociology. At my current institution, I have taken the right classeswhich are what classes exactly? to begin the path to transfer to a top University. Although I am grateful for all the resources and material that my institution has provided me with, I'm ready to take the next step in finishing what I started. Attending a top tier University with many inspired students will provide me with fuel to my competitive nature to succeed. Looking into all the clubs and extra curricular activities, I am very interested in getting involved to better myself as a student at the University. I will attempt to not only meet the standards of the University, but to go above and beyond to one day be standing in line waiting with my diploma to take a picture with then to be, the all new restored, Alma Mater

I think this is good overall, however just refer to the university by its name rather than 'the University' :)