When I think of what fashion means to me, I immediately think of empowerment to all women and men to express themselves through their own style, and how that style has the ability to change one's perspective on society's movement towards individualism. I have always had a passionate love for fashion and cosmetics - I am so intrigued by how people are motivated to use fashion as a way to show off their individuality, and it has strongly impacted me to do the same. When I visited New York City, I was truly inspired by the fashion flowing through the streets and the overall beauty of being in a city where fashion is everywhere. I knew then, for sure, that New York City is where I belong, and that I needed to follow my dream to become a Fashion Business Management student at the renowned Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT). There is no school that can compare to the distinguished qualities that FIT provides. I am ready to step up to the challenge and always put forth my best effort in every opportunity I am given to be successful in the fashion industry, which will make me an excellent candidate for Fashion Business Management at FIT.
I am strongly interested in Fashion Business Management, and with the help of very knowledgeable professors, I will become more familiar with fashion marketing, product development, planning, and so many other opportunities that will help me reach my career goals. I plan to study Fashion Business Management, and reapply for Cosmetics and Fragrance Marketing to learn how to create and market beauty products for women, as well as men. I enjoy spending my nights watching YouTube videos on different brands of makeup and how the beauty industry is growing at an increasing rate. Also, I have my own fashion blog and YouTube channel to express my own personal passion for fashion and cosmetics. I had the opportunity to do bridal makeup for two weddings, which gave me the chance to practice my business skills with cosmetics. My career goal is to someday create and market beauty products for a company such as M.A.C., L'Oréal, and Estée Lauder. FIT will challenge me and help me succeed in completing my goal by improving my weaknesses in fashion and cosmetics. Considering all the wonderful internships and hands-on experience offered at FIT, I am determined to work hard and diligently to receive these wonderful opportunities.
Outside of fashion and cosmetics, I am a high school Business Assistant Co-Op student at Gratiot-Isabella Regional Education Service District. I have had multiple learning opportunities to enhance my marketing and professional business skills by creating a presentation for a career fair to attract the attention of a young audience, by promoting RESD services through a PowerPoint presentation at meetings, and also by designing school bags for our German LINKS Student Exchange program. These opportunities have challenged me in a professional business atmosphere, outside of high school, where I have gained useful and creative abilities that will be a benefit to my studies as a Fashion Business Management student.
Throughout high school, I have taken different courses and joined different clubs that have helped me improve my business skills for the future. I was the News Editor for our school newspaper where I gained leadership skills by helping other students in my section with their stories and photos to make our newspaper catch the student bodies' attention. I have attended Michigan Interscholastic Press Association conferences and with dedication to my news section, I succeeded in receiving recognition at the awards ceremony. I had the opportunity to take classes such as accounting, Microsoft Excel, Word, Access and PowerPoint, and an art class to learn the basic skills of art. Also, I have maintained a G.P.A of 3.5 and higher throughout my high school career and was a recipient for National Honor Society.
With my aspiring heart to accomplish my dream goals, I will have the ability to thrive and succeed. To be able to receive the opportunity to do what I am so zealous about at a school that has so much to offer is my lifelong dream - FIT is where my eyes will be opened and my skills will be challenged and rewarded with hard work. FIT will put me onto the right path to succeed in Fashion Business Management and Cosmetics and Fragrance Marketing. With a positive mindset and a strong desire for fashion and cosmetics, I will make a great, hardworking candidate for FIT.
I would like to help you with your essay.
You are very descriptive in your essay. I would like to help you with a sentence in your first paragraph. You discuss how fashion was flowing through the streets. I think this needs to be explained better.
"...I was truly inspired by the fashion forward looks of people traveling to their destination and the overall idea of being in a city where fashion is everywhere." The beginning of the next sentence could be revised:" I was certain that New York was where..."
The next paragraph, I don't feel you need a comma after professors. Here is an example of how you can check your comma use: Clifford, the big red dog, is seen by many children on television. The big red dog was not needed but was an addition. Your idea regarding your professors seems to add to you discussion and is needed. Excellent paragraph!
The third paragraph, I think you could have a better transition. You could begin the paragraph by stating that "in addition to my fashion and cosmetic experiences..." This is a suggestion if you would like to change it. You can write you position in lowercase letters:" business assistant co-op student".
The fourth paragraph, you could write "news editor". The last sentence state: G.P.A. of 3.5 or higher".
The last paragraph you could state: I aspire to accomplish my goals and succeed. You could place a comma after about and offer. Delete the dash before FIT (this could be a new sentence). "cosmetics and fashion marketing"- this could be lowercase. Here is a suggestion for the last sentence: "I believe that because I have a strong..."
