fashion management program, What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT?

please help me out!

What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT?
Why are you interested in the major you are applying to?
We'd like you to tell us in an essay.
This is your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments

Since I was young, I was the one who gives a fashion advice to my family and friends for what they wear for the next day. I was always such a little stylist for everyone because I was interested in all aspects of the fashion when I was young. I also enjoyed decorating my diary or the wall display of my room with fashion magazines. Other than that, my youth life was very normal. However, everything was changed since I have moved in Canada for studying English; moving in Canada was like a turning point in my life, but the one thing that did not change was my passion of fashion.

I have had a hard time at the first time when I just came to Canada as I missed my family who lives in South Korea all the time. Also, entering a high school in a new country was strange and intimidating for me. However, my high school life in Canada was not so bad because I have always studied more diligently than any other students in my high school even though English was not my first language. Despite all the difficult moments and situations that occur from the language problem, I have achieved certification of recognition 1st and 2nd class honors in every semester. I have also obtained awards proficiency in music in every year. Also, I was involved in school band playing the piano and the flute, and I was in the yearbook club so I took a lot of photograph around the school, edited the photos and pages that I took, and designed some yearbook pages. As it was, I have enjoyed putting my self in more challenge and I have always got oriented well to new surroundings.

Further more, after graduated from my high school, I have finally got into George Brown College in Fashion management Program so that I could settle down to fashion studies in more earnest. I could be opened with a whole new learning experience and I was able to take long view of the world widely especially the fashion industry. During my college life, I have done so much great experiences such as internship with designer during summer for the Practical Work Experience course, running the store business in the school as a buyer for the Business Lab-College Creations course, and involving many volunteer works such as designers fashion shows, designers sample sales, or Toronto Fashion week. It was incredible experiences that I have never been able to do and I have done great job. Moreover, even with of all that activities I have done, I have never neglected studying by keeping my GPA heights as 3.7 so now I am in the Faculty of Business and Creative Arts Dean's Honour List.

Hence, I could tell what I can offer to FIT is my enthusiasm, hardworking abilities, good aesthetic workmanship, and creative fashion sense as also I am very good at visualizing and organizing. I am optimistic even under high pressure I always strive to achieve my goals with passion.

I think that studying at George Brown College in fashion management program introduced me the basic of the fashion industry. On the other hand, since I have addled my mind more seriously for my future, I have realized that I would need more professional knowledge in the fashion industry, and I though FIT would make it possible.

Accordingly I have made a decision moving to FIT in New York City to achieve a bachelor's degree in Fashion Merchandising. I believe that a bachelor degree in Fashion Merchandising from FIT will allow me to achieve more opportunities and to get an incredible career in the fashion industry than any other college. There are so many other fashion schools around the world, but I think there is none of which are right for me.

In my aspiring school FIT, I would learn more of high fashion in New York and would obtain more serious and practical experience than I have done before and even if I do not have many experiences or any accomplishments so far I will be more focused on business of merchandising

I know that FIT has been building up great famous designers and FIT has the talented and creative people who are common in fashion that I need to be enclosed by in order to grow.

For that reasons, FIT is a key for me to move forward and to success in my life so if I get accepted into FIT, it would be awfully honor to be a student there.

I have edited the first two paragraphs for you to make them sound a bit more fluid. I recommend you take the paper to the writing department at your school. The message of the paper is good but you are lacking a bit in it's execution. Good Luck

Since I was young, I was the one who gave fashion advice to my family and friends for what they were going to wear for the next day. I was always such a little stylist for everyone because I was interested in all aspects of the fashion at an early age. I also enjoyed decorating my diary or the wall display of my room with fashion magazines. Other than that, my youth life was very normal. However, everything changed when I moved in Canada in order to study English; moving to Canada was a turning point in my life, but the one thing that did not change was my passion of fashion.

I have had a hard time since I came to Canada considering that my family remained in South Korea. Also, entering a high school in a new country was strange and intimidating for me. However, my high school life in Canada was not so bad because I have always studied more diligently than any other students in my high school even though English was not my first language. Despite all the difficult moments and situations that occur from the language barrier, I have achieved a certification of recognition for 1st and 2nd class honors in every semester. I have also obtained awards proficiency in music in every year and was involved in the school's band playing piano and the flute. In addition, I was a member the yearbook club so I took photographs around the school, edited the photos and pages that I took, and designed some of the yearbook pages. As it was, I have enjoyed putting myself in more challenging situations and I have always got oriented well to new surroundings.

Since I was young, I was the one who gave fashion advice to my family and friends about what they shoud wear for the next day.

I was always such a little stylist for everyone, because I was interested in all aspects of the fashion when I was young.--- very good sentence!

...that did not change was my passion for fashion.

I have had a hard time when I first came to Canada, as I missed my South Korean family who lives in South Korea all the time.

As it was, I have enjoyed putting my self in more challenging situations, and I have always acclimated well to new surroundings.

There are s So many other fashion schools are available around the world, but I think there is none of which are right for me; I am determined to attend FIT.

:-) Good luck, keep practicing English! I think you might have a special opportunity to contribute to multicultural fashion now that you have experienced so many cultures.