My Father taught me the meaning of generosity, the importance of excellence and the value of honesty

My Father the Role Model. Describe a person who has had an influence on you. (300 Words)

[Note: my command of the English language isn't spectacular and your comments/tips/suggestions is greatly appreciated!]

Ever since I was born, my father had a great influence on me and even till now, who I am owes it all to him because he had raised me in the best way he knew how to. He taught me the meaning of generosity, the importance of excellence and the value of honesty.

My father is a simple man who worked many odd jobs when he was young but even without a proper education due to his family background, he managed to provide for the family and sustained himself with hard work and determination. In his current job doing sales, he portrays excellence in serving his clients by going the extra mile for them: throughout the entire sales process from providing all the information to his clients even though they may have just met for the first time till the after-sales service to ensure that everything went well which made his clients really happy. Even though he worked hard and made sure that he provided for the family, he never scrimps on being generous to his friends and family because he firmly believes that generosity brings joy to himself as well as the people he meets.

Looking at my father today, I am grateful that I am able to learn these qualities from him that will make me a better person for the present as well as the future. He is my role model and there would be no other person that I would call 'dad' than himself. "I love you dad."

Hi, I read the essay and I make some points:
first, the 1^ par(who I am owes it all to him because he had raised me in the best way he knew how to. He taught me the meaning of generosity, ) and the second(he portrays excellence in serving his clients by going the extra mile for them: throughout the entire sales process from providing all the information to his clients even though they may have just met for the first time till the after-sales service to ensure that everything went well which made his clients really happy. ) was incomprehensible

second, since you have just 300 words space, you have to be brief and compelling. You used 3 lines to make an example on your father but any examples on the influence he has had on you. So what is exactly the influence he has had on you?

third, in the last sentence of the 2^ par, you used 'even though'. You did not make any effective connection between 'hard working' and 'generosity', these 2 qualities are not in mutual exclusion.

I suggest you to lighten you father's job part, sum up it and talk about what you did done influenced by these positive virtues

have a nice day!

Hey Elith!
Thank you for your feedback!
I'll look into it and make the changes!
Thank you!