"My father, Vietnam war, the Philippines" - a person who has influenced you

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One war I established to be the most catastrophic out of all was the Vietnam War. It killed many innocent people, from citizens of South Vietnam to the soldiers who defended their country. Despite all those whose lives were taken due to this cruel act, many Vietnamese citizens fled the country to find freedom, one of them being my father. Reflecting on the hardships that he has faced in his life, his dignity and courage have inspired me to do my best in any situation that may come along. As obstacles may hinder me along the way, looking back on my father's life influences me to work as best as I can.

When my father escaped from Vietnam, it was extremely risky because Northern Vietnamese soldiers were imprisoning those who attempted to flee the country. During his departure, my father sailed a canoe and suffered through starvation for at least four days, but prayers helped him through the conditions. He believed in God and that God will always be there for you if you call on Him. As a result, my father, who was filled with anticipation, has encouraged me to believe that there is always hope if you have faith in God and yourself.

My father's primary destination was the Philippines. At his arrival, help approached and he was able to fly to America to seek for freedom. During his first few years in America, my father was not very familiar with the English language. Despite the English classes provided in Vietnam starting from the sixth grade, my father did not have the capability of holding a conversation with another person. Once my father finally found a place to settle, he began his studies. He continuously pushed himself to strive harder for his goals. It was very complicated at the moment because no one was there to guide him through this intricate task. With the use of his own money, he was able to purchase his own learning materials. Through this, he accomplished his goals as years passed and finally found a job that he was skilled at. This was where I saw that perseverance could really push you to do your ultimate best in everything that you do.

My father's story of how he came to United States motivates me to do anything that I set my mind to. I became more involved with my Catholic church, by participating in events such as church clean-up and assisting teachers who educate students about the bible. My contribution to my church brought me closer to God. For that reason, I never lost hope because I kept my faith like my father. The sympathy that was brought out from his story made me realized that I should take every single advantage of what this country has to offer and what Vietnam does not, in particular, free education, transportation, fresh water, sanitary food, opportunity, and equality. I take full advantage of my educational opportunity by maintaining good grades and becoming involved in different organizations at school, such as, the National Honor Society.

The thoughts of my father made me more ambitious. As a result, he has put a great impact to everything that I do because he is the driving force behind my success. Not only does my father motivate me, but he is my idol. My father never relinquished, and neither will I. If my father was able to destroy the language barrier, I deemed that anything is possible if I just try. My father is the reason for who I am today.

"Despite" is use to show contrast, yet there nothing are being compare in your sentence.

I know what you mean, but the war is not really an "act" rather than an "event"


I really suggest that you take the bold part out. You must remember that both sides suffered death and casualties in every war. Only stating that the people from the South died, you came across as being very bias and bitter.


The pronoun "it" is quite ambiguous here. If I were you, I would phrase the sentence like this to have better flow:

My father escaped from Vietnam in extremely risky conditions. At the time, those who attempted to flee the country were imprisoned.


I would replace both the words "complicated" and "intricate." I felt like better words could be use.


"Sympathy" is not appropriate in this context. You don't also have to list a plethora of thing; rather, dedicate the word counts toward something noteworthy or memorable that can contribute to your overall essay. In my opinion, if you want to list things, then you shoul

d keep "education, opportunity, and equality"; I'm sure your father didn't risk coming to the U.S. for fresh water and sanitary food alone.


This really understate your essay. After going through all that trouble to describe the risk he took coming to a place foreign in land and language to him, the ending was a little bit hackneyed and won't do your essay justice.

You have some word choice problem that, if fix, could really improve your essay.

Good luck :)

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