Hi,
Pls help me spot any grammatical errors and awkward sentences. Also, pls help me comment on the content =) Thx a lot!.
As seconds merged into minutes, my eyes started to droop sleepily. Armed with a torch in one hand and a sharp trowel in the other, I furiously attacked the layers of soil. Then, I dumped the soil on the cold concrete as my friend, XYZ, frantically searched for it.
"ABC! Be more careful," she said with a deep, authoritative voice. I paused and looked down to see mangled carcasses littering the floor. Oh no! These blue worms cost me a fortune. But with only a few hours to go, I couldn't afford to slow down. Praying hard, I continued to thrust the trowel into the wet soil. Then suddenly, I found it. Lying deep beneath the soil, all I saw was a thin, dark layer of fertilizer, which was barely discernible in the dark.
"Are you kidding me? This can't be all," XYZ muttered. Disbelief was written all over her face. It's been weeks but these blue worms hardly produced enough fertilizer to fill one bottle. I've spent nights poring on the Internet, researching on a new decomposing method to produce organic fertilizer. I thought I have crafted the perfect business plan. Now, my pilot project has failed to give the result that I've wanted. My efforts seemed to be flushed down the drain. To make matter worse, the business pitch would be in a few weeks. What was I supposed to tell those investors?
Panic engulfed my team. Some of us began to have serious doubts about our project. Did you do it correctly? Would this actually work? Was it better if we come up with a new project? Countless questions were asked. But none of us had the answer. After a long, awkward silence, I explained to them that we couldn't afford to start a new project. As the researcher in the team, I offered to find a reason why it has failed. For the next few weeks, I crafted a new plan for my second pilot project. While I was dutifully searching for the answers from research journals, I also created new ways to make the project more foolproof. Unlike before, I now varied the different control environments and choices of food for the worms. All was done in the hope that I could eventually discover the optimal conditions for decomposition. I was determined that we would succeed this time and, indeed, we did.
Reflecting back, I have learnt the importance of resilience and optimism from this experience. As long as I hope that my plans can go smoothly, there are often setbacks present along the way. However, instead of losing hope, I should instead seek to make the best out of the mess and take the leap. After all, life cannot be designed like a building. Sometimes, I just need to live it and it will design itself. Armed with this conviction, I will continue to strive during collegiate years both inside and outside of classroom, as an individual and as part of a team.
A major concern i have for my essay is that it is rather too long. Also, I find it way too formal (so quite boring?). Hm, and is it a rather dull and done-to-death piece???
Pls help me spot any grammatical errors and awkward sentences. Also, pls help me comment on the content =) Thx a lot!.
As seconds merged into minutes, my eyes started to droop sleepily. Armed with a torch in one hand and a sharp trowel in the other, I furiously attacked the layers of soil. Then, I dumped the soil on the cold concrete as my friend, XYZ, frantically searched for it.
"ABC! Be more careful," she said with a deep, authoritative voice. I paused and looked down to see mangled carcasses littering the floor. Oh no! These blue worms cost me a fortune. But with only a few hours to go, I couldn't afford to slow down. Praying hard, I continued to thrust the trowel into the wet soil. Then suddenly, I found it. Lying deep beneath the soil, all I saw was a thin, dark layer of fertilizer, which was barely discernible in the dark.
"Are you kidding me? This can't be all," XYZ muttered. Disbelief was written all over her face. It's been weeks but these blue worms hardly produced enough fertilizer to fill one bottle. I've spent nights poring on the Internet, researching on a new decomposing method to produce organic fertilizer. I thought I have crafted the perfect business plan. Now, my pilot project has failed to give the result that I've wanted. My efforts seemed to be flushed down the drain. To make matter worse, the business pitch would be in a few weeks. What was I supposed to tell those investors?
Panic engulfed my team. Some of us began to have serious doubts about our project. Did you do it correctly? Would this actually work? Was it better if we come up with a new project? Countless questions were asked. But none of us had the answer. After a long, awkward silence, I explained to them that we couldn't afford to start a new project. As the researcher in the team, I offered to find a reason why it has failed. For the next few weeks, I crafted a new plan for my second pilot project. While I was dutifully searching for the answers from research journals, I also created new ways to make the project more foolproof. Unlike before, I now varied the different control environments and choices of food for the worms. All was done in the hope that I could eventually discover the optimal conditions for decomposition. I was determined that we would succeed this time and, indeed, we did.
Reflecting back, I have learnt the importance of resilience and optimism from this experience. As long as I hope that my plans can go smoothly, there are often setbacks present along the way. However, instead of losing hope, I should instead seek to make the best out of the mess and take the leap. After all, life cannot be designed like a building. Sometimes, I just need to live it and it will design itself. Armed with this conviction, I will continue to strive during collegiate years both inside and outside of classroom, as an individual and as part of a team.
A major concern i have for my essay is that it is rather too long. Also, I find it way too formal (so quite boring?). Hm, and is it a rather dull and done-to-death piece???
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