Please be as critical as you can and do not be afraid to be harsh. Any criticism is helpful.
Thanks!!
2) Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it reflect who you are?
It was my first time and I was scared. The closer we got, the colder the air became. I clenched my parents' hands tighter than I ever had as I took that first step onto the ice. From that moment on, I started my journey as a figure skater.
I first started skating when I was five years old and I could barely stand on my two feet. But my determination to learn how to skate, motivated me to come back the next week and give it another shot. Before, I knew it I was going to the rink two to three times a day for practice. I had a real blast learning all the new spins and jumps. I then began to take the tests required to advance to the next level. Just recently actually, I passed the Senior Moves in the Field test, which I am especially ecstatic about because passing that test signified that I have completed all the other test and reached the highest level. Another aspect of figure skating I absolutely love is the competitions. I love the pounding of my heart and the surge of adrenaline flowing through my body the moments before I take the ice. What I like about the competitions is not winning a gold medal because to be honest I probably lost more than I have won. For me it is the experience of being able to compete and all the hard work I put into preparing for the competition that makes it all worthwhile. Winning is just like the icing on a cake.
I owe a great deal to figure skating. It has taken me, molded, and shaped me into the person I am today. Some of the most important lessons I have taken to heart from this sport are perseverance, patience, and thankfulness. For me, figure skating is a very difficult sport and improvement does not always come instantly. So I have definitely learned to be quite patient, persevere through all the falls, and to get back up and continue to do what I love. But above all, I am truly thankful for my ability to pursue my passion. Figure skating has also been a place of refuge for me. Whenever I encounter any personal issues, fail a test, or just feel down right depressed, all I want to do is get on the ice. Because when I step onto the ice I feel like any thing negative is sucked away and is replaced with joy. For this reason I enjoy volunteering at my local rink to teach special education kids how to skate because I hope they to can experience the delight I get when I skate.
So here is to 5 am wake up calls, the cold, hard falls, adrenaline rush, meeting new people, competitions, disappointments, joy, breaking in new skates, feeling like I cannot breathe at the end of my program, and sacrificing for my love and passion because I am a figure skater.
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I clenched my parents' hands tighter than I ever had, as I took that first step onto the ice.
From that moment on, I started my journey as a figure skater. ---This doesn't sound right. You could say, 'From that moment on, I was on my journey as a ...Or, 'At that moment, I began my journey as...' The way you wrote it kind of implies that the process of starting went on and on.
Before I knew it, I was ----I moved your comma---going to the rink two to three times a day for practice.
Just recently actually , I passed the Senior Moves in the Field test, which I am especially ecstatic about because passing that test signified that I have completed all the other tests and reached the highest level.
... not winning a gold medal because to be honest, I've probably lost more than I have won.
Winning is just like the icing on a cake.---Well said!
So I have definitely learned to be quite patient, persevere through all the falls, and to get back up and continue to do what I love. ---This is excellent writing.
So here is to 5 am wake up calls, the cold, hard falls, adrenaline rush, meeting new people, competitions, disappointments, joy, breaking in new skates, feeling like I cannot breathe at the end of my program, and sacrificing for my love and passion because I am a figure skater. ----Nice strong finish!! I feel exhilarated from reading this!
:)
