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"figure skating with a smile on my face" - UC (personal quality, talent)


CaitBurt 1 / -  
Nov 22, 2010   #1
Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Any comments on grammar, context etc are welcomed. (: Thanks so Much!

I honestly cannot remember the first time I tied a pair of skates to my feet and stepped onto the slippery back of the ice. Looking at the photo hanging from my bedroom wall I'm guessing I was about four years old. I was dressed in a ridiculously puffy pink snow suit and my parents strapped to my precious head a fuchsia Barbie bicycle helmet.

I'm sure that my first experience on the ice was nothing monumental. I probably stumbled around for half an hour then decided that my feet hurt and my hands were cold. My dad, however, remembers something significant about the early days of my skating.

"You weren't like the other kids. You'd fall down, but you wouldn't whine and cry about it. You'd just get back up and keep going with a smile on your face," my dad tells me. "You had tenacity and you still do."

Tenacity? I realized my dad was right. Throughout my life and especially in my twelve years of skating, I've always stayed determined. A bad fall has never gotten in my way.

When I was in first grade would get out of bed before the sun came up to go to practice. We would take tests in skating to progress through the levels. When you passed a level, you got a patch. Those patches were like gold to me. When I got a new one, I'd beg my mom to promptly sew it to my skating jacket. I wanted nothing more than to pass the next level and get the next patch.

When I got older, my goal moved onto winning a real gold medal. I'd practice and train my jumps and spins until I had fallen so many times that my hips, knees, and elbows became numb and covered in bruises. In my mind, the gold medals were worth the black and blue bruises.

When I began skating on a synchronized skating team, practices were difficult. We'd run the program so many times that we could no longer breathe. We'd practice the steps until we could do them in our sleep. We'd spend weekends in airports and hotel rooms. The time consuming practices, the bruises, and the extensive traveling was all worth it when we got those gold medals.

I didn't win every competition and pass every test. I did break bones and tear tendons. I traded late night sleepovers for early morning practices. I fell down, but I always got back up just like I did when I was four years old.

Looking forward to my life in college, I know my path will be slippery just like the ice I skate on. I will face obstacles and challenges and I will have to keep by balance, just like I do when I skate. I know, however, there will be moments when I fall down. I also know that I have the ability, tenacity, and determination to get back up again. Skating has taught me that no matter how hard I fall, I have to get back up and keep going with a smile on my face.

engdetective 6 / 24  
Nov 22, 2010   #2
I honestly cannot remember the first time I tied a pair of skates to my feet and stepped onto the slippery back of the ice. Looking at thea photo hanging from my bedroom wall I'm guessingI guess I was about four years old,I was dressed in a ridiculouslyridiculous puffy pink snow suit and my parents strapped to my precious head a fuchsia Barbie bicycle helmet.my parents had strapped a fuchsia Barbie bicycle helmet to my precious head

I'm sure that my first experience on the ice was nothing monumental. I probably stumbled around for half an hour then decided that my feet hurt and my hands were cold. My dad, however, remembers something significant about the early days of my skating.my early skating days.

"You weren't like the other kids. You'd fall down, but you wouldn't whine and cry about it. You'd just get back up and keep going with a smile on your face," my dad tellstold me. "You had tenacity and you still do."

Tenacity?(I think you should remove this question : it does not fit with the rest of the paragraph)I realized my dad was right. Throughout my life and especially in my twelve years of skating, I've always stayed determined. A bad fall has never gotten in my way.

When I was in first grade I would get out of bed before the sun came up to go to practice. WeI would take tests in skating to progress through thehigher levels. WhenEverytime you passed a level, you got a patch. Those patches were like gold to me. When I got a new one, I'd beg my mom to promptly sew it to my skating jacket. I wanted nothing more than to pass to the next level and get the next patch.

When I got older, my goal moved from getting a simple patch onto winning a real gold medal. I'd practice and train my jumps and spins until I had fallen so many times that my hips, knees, and elbows becamewere numb and covered in bruises. In my mind, the gold medals were worth the black and blue bruises.

When I began skating on a synchronized skating team, practices were difficult. We'd run the program so many times that we could no longer breathe. We'd practice the steps until we could do them in our sleep. We'd spend weekends in airports and hotel rooms. But the time consuming practices, the bruises, and the extensive travelingtravelling was all worth it when we got those gold medals.

I didn't win every competition and pass every test. I did break bones and tear tendons. I traded late night sleepovers for early morning practices. I fell down, but I always got back up just like I did when I was four years old.

Looking forward to my life in college, I know my path will be slippery just like the ice I skate on. I will face obstacles and challenges and I will have to keep by balance, just like I do when I skate. I know, however, there will be moments when I fall down. I also know that I have the ability, tenacity, and determination to get back up again. Skating has taught me that no matter how hard I fall, I have to get back up and keep going with a smile on my face.

Ok, I really really liked your essay, especially the last two paragraphs. There are some simple mistakes, but in the overall it left me with a goo impression :)

Hope I could help a little bit!


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