I'm applying to Virginia Tech this fall and it is by far my number one choice. It means the world to me to go there. Right now my essay is at 272 words and I need it to be less than 250. The prompt is the top five reasons you would like to be a Hokie.
The day I walked into the visitor's center, I though Virginia Tech was going to be just another school. I never expected to get that "wow" moment, you know, the one where the girls start crying on TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress". Although my experience didn't involve a wedding or any crying, I finally knew I was done searching; I was going to be a Hokie.
Growing up 45 minutes away from campus, I was always part of the school spirit. On game days, Roanoke lights up with maroon and orange, making it extremely hard to not be a Hokie. That was and still is my favorite part about Virginia Tech- the school spirit. While touring the campus in September, I learned about many attributes the school has to offer. They are a leading 4H group, which meant a lot to me because I have been involved in 4H since the age of nine. I also was fascinated with their community service options. It felt like Virginia Tech couldn't stop talking about everything that they have and continue to offer for the community, and I loved it! They also have many safety precautions to make students and parents feel safe and secure while they are away from home. Lastly, Virginia Tech is nationally ranked for their dining. Being away from home for four years and eating the same food almost every day, the dining plays and important role in the college decision process.
Once a Hokie, always a Hokie. With this being said, I hope to continue my Hokie experience at Virginia Tech.
Hey Courtney, the opening paragraph that you wrote was really not necessary for the statement so I just went ahead and deleted that. It immediately brought the word count down to 201. So my version of your response, should you choose to use it either in its entirety or as the basis for your revision will be right within the maximum word count. Here it is :-)
Growing up 45 minutes away from campus, I was always part of the school spirit. On game days, Roanoke lights up with maroon and orange, making it extremely hard to not want to be a Hokie. That was and still is my favorite part about Virginia Tech- the school spirit.
While touring the campus in September, I learned about many attributes the school has to offer. They are a leading 4H group, which meant a lot to me because I have been involved in 4H since the age of nine.
I also was fascinated with their community service options. It felt like Virginia Tech couldn't stop talking about everything that they have and continue to offer for the community, and I loved it! They also have many safety precautions to make students and parents feel safe and secure while they are away from home.
Lastly, Virginia Tech is nationally ranked for their food and dining. Being away from home for four years and eating the same food almost every day, the dining plays and important role in the college decision process.
Once a Hokie, always a Hokie. With this being said, I hope to continue my Hokie experience at Virginia Tech.
I can't really help, but my opinion on this is that it's really good, but you shouldn't need to go into way too much detail. Take out whatever isn't really that much important or just shorten the sentences.
Help with mine ⇒ Meeting a New Teacher PERSONAL NARRATIVE
Courtney, I believe you did your research and here on EF, a lot of students seek for constructive criticism and we do all there is that we can to help out but of course it will not hurt to research and compare notes, so I urge you to read a few of the students essays and answers to the prompt and you might just see that there's a difference and you can d better.
Now let me see if you need some help;
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- I finally knew I was done searching;, I was going to be a Hokie.
- While touring the campus inFrom a tour in September,
- involved in 4H since theat age of nine.
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- the community, and I loved it!
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- precautions to make students and parents feel safe and securepeaceful while they
Courtney, overall your essay is good and honestly what I would include as a reason in choosing VT as my school of choice is the relation to my academic goals, like writing about a course you aim at taking in VT and then you follow through with the rest of the reasons you have in this essay.
I hope I was able to help.
