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"my first speech for the club."



somewhereoverth 1 / -  
Nov 30, 2009   #1
I stutter, I shatter, and I am painfully shy. No, I don't have a case of social phobia; I am fairly social. However, when it comes to speaking to a large crowd, I get nervous. This revelation stems from my kindergarten days. Every morning in kindergarten, my teacher erupted into a huge grin and said along with a clap "it's time to recite the alphabet!" She not only made us do this everyday, but she also made us recite it in front of a number of parents. However, I was always too shy to perform this task. I hid myself in the corner of the classroom. I felt a surge of tears rolling down my face. And I heard the sounds of my heartbeat instantly burst into loud thumps. I just dreaded this exercise so much; it murdered my confidence.

Am I destined to stay this way? I felt I needed to prove to those particular people, who I'm always shying away from, that I was a confident person. I feared that I would remain the same as I was in kindergarten for eternity. I wanted so badly to overcome this fear.

In my freshmen year of high school, a good friend and I created a humanitarian club called the Female Aid Organization Club. This club was intended to raise money to help women in developing countries. Furthermore, when I was told I was put into the position of vice-presidency, I cheered with excitement. My friend, however, looked at me with a mixed and vague expression and said "it's not going to be easy." She was right. I assumed being vice-president would be a breeze, but to my dismay, it was nothing like I envisioned. I was expected to do the hardest task on earth: public speaking.

It was my first speech for the club. The crowd was humongous. The atmosphere was grimy and dark. The constant noises coming from the crowd agitated me. All I could feel was failure. As I made my way blindly towards the dark stage, I couldn't help but try to distinguish the faces in the crowd. It was all too blurry. When I finally got to the microphone, the crowd suddenly became silent. It was time to speak. Within a couple of seconds, I ushered myself to open my mouth. It's officially time to begin the speech. Sadly, I stuttered in my first sentence. But as the speech went along, everything just fell into place. I did not hesitate to speak for the rest of it. I spoke eloquently, without any stuttering. As I ended the speech, the crowd applauded and cheered.

I did it. I never felt so accomplished in my life. As the years went by, my whole being transformed from a child who trembled at the sight of public speaking, to a confident woman who speaks with confidence and ease. I now enjoy public speaking.

alright, i don't know how to indent, as you can see...

zling 2 / 9  
Nov 30, 2009   #2
This revelation stems from my kindergarten days.

in context, it should be described more as a condition ? not sure how to phrase it

This condition stems from my kindergarten days.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 1, 2009   #3
Oh, don't worry about indentation in this forum. I can see where the paragraphs break.

you have a great username!

Am I destined to stay this way? I felt I needed to prove to those particular people, those people from whom I'm always shying away, that I was a confident person.

Good, now I think you can make this stronger by showing how the speaking experience is part of the foundation for your career. How is this related to your professional aspirations? Develop that last paragraph some more by talking about your academic and professional plans as they are affected by this empowering experience.


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