Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 6


That flight brought me here; PLACE/ ENVIRONMENT - Perfectly content



Anumeha 7 / 12  
Oct 26, 2013   #1
I chose the 4th option- Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

** before you read, this essay isn't completed yet. I feel like I could add a little more, maybe expand on why it is meaningful? I can't seem to figure out exactly how to do that, so PLEASE if you have any suggestions, help me out!**

The first time I stepped foot inside a plane was 9 years ago. On December 24th, 2004, my family and I boarded a Boeing 747, and flew halfway across the world in eighteen hours. Everything I had known from a routine life in India ran dry as we reached the States.

That flight brought me here, and put me in a culture where I learned that it was considered polite to smile at strangers. It introduced me to a school where teachers were more like friends, instead of authority figures. It showed me a society where no one hesitated to dress in his or her unique style. It delved me in an environment where I learned to become an observer.

Eighteen hours on a plane, and my life changed from everything it would have been in India. This transformative experience is the very reason I appreciate any opportunity I have to travel. Some people complain about the inconveniences of long flights, but I am perfectly content in the confined spaces of a single economy- section seat. There is a bittersweet satisfaction in not having enough room to stretch my legs, and ending up getting the seat next to the snorer.

Everyone on that plane has a story that I don't know, but sitting in a crowd where I'm a stranger to everyone, and everyone is a stranger to me, somehow brings me the greatest pleasure. It stimulates a sense of freedom in me- just like 9 years ago, I can change myself again and again- letting the cultures of different places and different people blend in with my own diverse one. I can make new routines and break them. I can wake up to Bali, and sleep to Italy. I have learned more from living in America than 650 words allows me to cover, but there is so, so much more waiting for me out there. I have barely seen the world, and barely heard the stories everyone has to tell. Sitting inside a plane, though, I am free to explore. I am free to recreate. I am free to be someone different. And all it will ever take is a ticket.

jfang 1 / 10  
Oct 26, 2013   #2
Love it! It's has great description and a great ending line. :)
Very, very well-written.

You probably need to add some stuff to get closer to the word limit, but if the word limit were the length that your essay is now, it would be perfect.

Best of luck!
sthakur 2 / 22  
Oct 27, 2013   #3
Hey, I traveled all the way from Nepal to USA and it took me around 32 hours in flight. And I definitely know what you're talking about because I went through that too! Hm, I'd say that you should focus a little more on the experience itself and be descriptive. Maybe describe what the view was like outside that tiny rectangular window. Perhaps, talk about how you were kind of worried about your approaching life as the view zoomed toward the ground? Something along those lines! Besides that, I like the concept :)
Gregore2000 1 / 2  
Oct 27, 2013   #4
Great essay. I love the repetition at the end, which really reiterates why you love being in a plane. The sentence about how 650 words isn't enough to explain what you learned in America is not very accurate though, as your essay is clearly under that amount. Overall, however, the writing is very descriptive and interesting to read. If you have a chance, please take a look at mine and comment. Thanks and good luck!

Edit: Sorry I didn't see you uploaded a revised version. I like how you compared your experience back then to now, 9 years later.
Dinaruud 1 / 1  
Oct 28, 2013   #5
Great essay! I really like the way you express how it makes you feel, and the way you word yourself. I know the feeling myself. I have been traveling all my life. The most memorable trip was to USA from Norway, witch was the first trip i took all alone. I definitely feel like i can relate to your essay. :)

Maybe write more about how you feel when you reach the places you are flying to? Or tell a little more about the flight?
I just think you need to get closer to the word limit, but other than that its a great essay!!
rolin 2 / 4  
Nov 1, 2013   #6
I reeeeally like the last paragraph!!!
You describe the feelings when you spent in the air. So the environment refers to the atmosphere in the plane and you just wanna say you like the experience?


Home / Undergraduate / That flight brought me here; PLACE/ ENVIRONMENT - Perfectly content
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳