"In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience, or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it. "
Does my essay answer the questions? How's the ending? Please revise it and give some suggestions. Thanks:)
After going through all the requirments to become a pilot, I asked myself, "Why not?" Then, I started my flight training. However, simply the first few lessons proved it to be a real challenge. I was often disoriented in the cockpit as my instructor yelled at me in a language that was not my native tongue. One slight misunderstanding of another pilot's radio call was enough of a mistake for me to crash. My hard work did not seem to yield any improvements. Even if my training progressed for one day, it regressed the next.
Frustration flooded into my hopeful dreams to soar the skies. I attributed my struggle to a lack of talent in mechanics, and wanted to give up. However, after a conversation with my host dad, I realized that for seventeen years I had been used to easy success. Good grades, art skills, leadership, peers' respect, had all come naturally. Life was not always perfect, but I had never been given a real challenge that tested my limits. Flying was an excellent opportunity for me. "Do not believe in your disbelief, but believe in your belief." Encouraged by his words, I promised myself to take on this challenge and see how much I could achieve.
The next day after our talk, I went out for a ride with another pilot. Sitting in the back of the airplane, I was able to watch every action and found myself easily understanding them. I was amazed to realize how much knowledge I had acquired over the last couple of months after all. That day we flew until the night fell, and for the first time in my life, I saw a magnificent sunset from high above the clouds. The sun drew back its flames by sinking bit by bit into the horizon, leaving behind strips of golden ray torn by the floating clouds. Immediately, I realized that this spectacular view could only be seen from spectacular heights, which took resolution and tenacity to reach.
In the following weeks, I spent more time studying aviation communication and started to practice night and day on a flight simulator. As time went by, I started to truly feel the airplane. Nicely under control, it smoothly "flared", gracefully "rounded out", and gently kissed the ground. I finally presented the sky a perfect performance.
I have not flown for several months now, but this adventure has proven to be more than just a fond memory. It woke something inside of me that had been long asleep. Potential. I don't think I believed in my potential, until I disbelieved in it. Until I flew a plane, I had not disbelieved in myself. "Believe in your belief." That was my host dad's voice, and it awakened the power inside of me. Since then, I've had to keep this voice awake for myself to defeat the weakness that discourages me.
Meeting the challenge of flying has closed the circle on my understanding of growing. Things that come easy to me are simply gentle breezes leaving without a trail, but it is only flurries and showers that shape the sturdiest trees. Beliefs are built only after tested by hardships. Characters are defined and developed only through adapting to and overcoming individual challenges. At this stage, in front of me is the entry to a university, and I know this is where I, the total person, will be further shaped; body, mind, and spirit. Aviation showed me a path, and it is unversity life that will help me continue on this path of personal growth and integrity. Along with me is the spectacular sunset engraved in my memory. I will always believe in its beauty and endeavor towards the life of greatness.
Does my essay answer the questions? How's the ending? Please revise it and give some suggestions. Thanks:)
After going through all the requirments to become a pilot, I asked myself, "Why not?" Then, I started my flight training. However, simply the first few lessons proved it to be a real challenge. I was often disoriented in the cockpit as my instructor yelled at me in a language that was not my native tongue. One slight misunderstanding of another pilot's radio call was enough of a mistake for me to crash. My hard work did not seem to yield any improvements. Even if my training progressed for one day, it regressed the next.
Frustration flooded into my hopeful dreams to soar the skies. I attributed my struggle to a lack of talent in mechanics, and wanted to give up. However, after a conversation with my host dad, I realized that for seventeen years I had been used to easy success. Good grades, art skills, leadership, peers' respect, had all come naturally. Life was not always perfect, but I had never been given a real challenge that tested my limits. Flying was an excellent opportunity for me. "Do not believe in your disbelief, but believe in your belief." Encouraged by his words, I promised myself to take on this challenge and see how much I could achieve.
The next day after our talk, I went out for a ride with another pilot. Sitting in the back of the airplane, I was able to watch every action and found myself easily understanding them. I was amazed to realize how much knowledge I had acquired over the last couple of months after all. That day we flew until the night fell, and for the first time in my life, I saw a magnificent sunset from high above the clouds. The sun drew back its flames by sinking bit by bit into the horizon, leaving behind strips of golden ray torn by the floating clouds. Immediately, I realized that this spectacular view could only be seen from spectacular heights, which took resolution and tenacity to reach.
In the following weeks, I spent more time studying aviation communication and started to practice night and day on a flight simulator. As time went by, I started to truly feel the airplane. Nicely under control, it smoothly "flared", gracefully "rounded out", and gently kissed the ground. I finally presented the sky a perfect performance.
I have not flown for several months now, but this adventure has proven to be more than just a fond memory. It woke something inside of me that had been long asleep. Potential. I don't think I believed in my potential, until I disbelieved in it. Until I flew a plane, I had not disbelieved in myself. "Believe in your belief." That was my host dad's voice, and it awakened the power inside of me. Since then, I've had to keep this voice awake for myself to defeat the weakness that discourages me.
Meeting the challenge of flying has closed the circle on my understanding of growing. Things that come easy to me are simply gentle breezes leaving without a trail, but it is only flurries and showers that shape the sturdiest trees. Beliefs are built only after tested by hardships. Characters are defined and developed only through adapting to and overcoming individual challenges. At this stage, in front of me is the entry to a university, and I know this is where I, the total person, will be further shaped; body, mind, and spirit. Aviation showed me a path, and it is unversity life that will help me continue on this path of personal growth and integrity. Along with me is the spectacular sunset engraved in my memory. I will always believe in its beauty and endeavor towards the life of greatness.
