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"Flying Solo" + "Control Tower" - UC talent, contribution, experience


cedarjet 1 / -  
Nov 11, 2010   #1
Flying Solo

[b]Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?


On a rainy December night, my car pulled up in front of Terminal 2 at Los Angeles International Airport. I checked my luggage and found my seat number, 32E. I hugged my mother and father as if I was never going to see them again. I looked nervously at the crowded gate, and off I went to a Qatar, 8,306 miles away from home.

At fourteen, I took two planes and twenty hours to visit my beloved uncle in Qatar. What really made this trip a significant experience was the journey I had to take. Leaving the comfort of my parents and taking responsibility for myself, I flew half way across the world to an unknown country. At the time, it was worth the gamble to see my extended family again.

As I passed through TSA, everything went smoothly, but because I was so frightened at first, I forgot my jacket at the x-ray machine. Nevertheless, I found my seat on the plane and immediately my body and mind slumbered as they temporary shed the fear I had inside of me. The airbus landed, and anxiety was running through my spine again. I first thought the connection at London Heathrow would be the most uneasy part. I was greatly afraid that my flight was going to be cancelled, or that I didn't know how to answer a question properly, but what I discovered was that it was an easy process. At this stage I really felt accomplished that I had taken responsibility upon myself. I went through the same process again in Heathrow as I did in Los Angeles, but this time it was easier because I had experience. Essentially, the same concept applies in life. It is always hard the first time something is done, but for the most part, the second time is always easier. My heart, full of pride, took off as the plane itself reached for the sky.

The morning of the arrival was a religious holiday, and my heart was full of zeal. Not only was I excited to see my uncle, but I was excited I had accomplished my journey and to experience another culture that is so different than mine. Ultimately, it was a culture shock. Who knew that a conservative culture could have so much elegance and beauty. It really did feel like a modern day Arabia.

I felt very proud of my accomplishment. At fourteen, I was able to have an experience that many people really aren't lucky to have. I traveled half way across the world and learned a key component about myself, risk taking. At first, it did not seem that I had the courage to travel alone, but I soon learned that the risk taught me a lot about myself. It portrayed my sense of responsibility and my eagerness to try new things. In the end, I really did attain knowledge by "flying solo".

"Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."

"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it."
-Henry Ford

Control Tower to CD372, "Runway 16 is clear, wind calm, visibility is greater than 20 miles. You are cleared for lift off." "Clear for take-off, CD372", I reply. "Set engines full throttle, flaps 10 degrees, and set landing lights on", I command my co-pilot. At 160 knots I pull back on the yoke and take to the skies as I liberate my soul and send my mind on an endless journey.

Ever since I was in pre-school, I have always been fascinated by airplanes. That was the only toy I ever played with and was always excited to travel, not because I was going somewhere new, but because of the journey itself. Nowadays, my fascination has grown for aerodynamics. I spend countless hours researching the elegancy of this subject, and to an extent I have taught myself to fly through my purchase of stimulation tutorials. Even though I set behind a computer screen playing, I feel as if I am liberated to explore the world at any time I desire. From this hobby of mine, I am determined to earn my caption wings as a licensed pilot. Yet, my environment has restricted me to do so.

Living in a community, were the 4.0 GPA and the Ivy League universities are the ultimate goals, I obviously have a lot of competition. This call for extensive studies and hardly any free time is my ultimate result. Thus, the restricting atmosphere has caused my downfall. It seemed as if my lifestyle accompanied with my community went against my aspirations to become a pilot. I could not please my soul with the desires it craves, but instead force it with line after line of subject material. Yet, I have adapted to this life style and piloted my way around it. Since the academic lifestyle is crucial, I merged these two important things in my life. Whenever I am assigned a topic in my studies, I try as much I can to incorporate aerodynamics into the paper, if at all possible. Not only does it bring me great joy to research, but it also motivates me to excel on the assignment. My dream of becoming a licensed pilot is more than goal in life, but it also provides me with the motivation I need to get passed any obstacle.

Essentially, I plan to use the same strategy in life. If I am denied something I really love such as my hobby, I must find a way to incorporate the best of both worlds no matter who disapproves of it. A dream cannot just be dismissed because of a simple struggle, but yet it should make the dream more desirable. My environment made me realize this life lesson, and through its oppression, it has molded me to a more well-around person.
meisj0n 8 / 272 2  
Nov 11, 2010   #2
I enjoyed the read for the first prompt. I was a tad confused about

I checked my luggage and found my seat number, 32E.

but I guess it makes sense.
You do address the prompt well.
maybe try to explain the first here:

At first, it did not seem that I had the courage to travel alone, but I soon learned that the risk taught me a lot about myself.

unless the risks were culture shock, new culture, new place, smooth flight, etc
was there another risk involved?, one that was personal? Hm, I guess your choice to visit your uncle was your risk. Makes sense.

caption wings

what are those?

Living in a community, where the 4.0 GPA and the Ivy League universities are the ultimate goals, I obviously have a lot of competition.

Can you phrase this differently?

This call for extensive studies and hardly any free time is my ultimate result. Thus, the restricting atmosphere has caused my downfall.

what do you mean?

My dream of becoming a licensed pilot is more than a goal in life, but-- it also provides me with the motivation I need to get passed any obstacle.

My environment made me realize this life lesson, and through its oppression, it has molded me to a more well-around person.

I don't quite follow. your oppression was the pressure to get a high gpa and go to an ivy? I guess you can say how you blended the two things into your life. (1. I'm not sure what you incorporated from both 2. I don't see what you did with that obstacle.) Try to write this part out more clearly

Cheers~
OhsoSoulful 1 / 9  
Nov 12, 2010   #3
your first essay is well written in my opinion. but on your second essay, towards the end you come straight out and tell us how it changed you as a person and what you're gonna do in the future. the reader is intelligent enough to figure that out. but overall it's a good essay. just try to embed those new life goals casually into your essay.


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