The biggest obstacle I have had has been to convince my family I will not follow the same path every other woman in my family has taken. My family is a very traditional Pakistani family, where women are expected to go to high school, sometimes a little college, and then get married through an arranged marriage. I was twenty when a marriage had been arranged for me by my parents to my cousin, a man I had never met. I was terrified and confused. Even though everyone else in my family accepted this way of life, my brothers and I had been raised in the United States, and had grown up in a culture where people get to pick the ones they marry.
I had just started my junior year at Smith College, and though I had managed to avoid getting married since I turned eighteen, my family had decided it was time it happened. I had so many plans for myself, and marriage to a man who lived in Pakistan was not one of them. Yes I did want to get married one day, but getting married that young to someone I did not know was just too scary a prospect. I turned to a few of my professors I trusted, who directed me to my dean. My dean had dealt with situations like this before, students with strict parents who decided when it was time for school to be over, and when it was time to become a wife.
Through several conversations between my dean, my parents and myself, we were able to come to a resolution. For the first time in my family's history, a woman was going to get out of a marriage that had been arranged, and was going to be allowed to pick the man she wanted to marry. This was a true accomplishment for me since this was unheard of in my family history. My parents did not allow me to go to the movies, to sleepovers, or to even talk on the phone, and here they were allowing me the power to make such a huge life decision.
It was then I realized my ability of so much more than what I thought and I also realized how important it is to have financial independence. Up until this point I had always been told what to do, and what would be expected of me as a woman of Pakistani descent. Because I was financially dependent upon my family, they had no issues with controlling every aspect of my life. I realized my own strength, that as a woman I could do a lot of the things I had previously thought I could not.
Since that point, my brother has referred to me as a "sleeping giant." Since he and I are close in age, I initially assumed it was an insult and thought he was implying something about being lazy. In reality what he meant was I have been the one in our family with the most potential, and since it was untapped, I might as well be sleeping. That phrase has stuck with me for a long time. It has been because of him I decided to go to law school. He was the one who introduced me to the idea and had me speak to some of his lawyer friends so I would have a better understanding of what to expect.
Though I have not been a full-time student for quite some time now, I have taken measures to ensure I would stay committed to my goal of furthering my education. Because I have always known I wanted to go back to school, I had a fear that my talents and brain would atrophy from lack of use. To combat that, I got into management at my work so I would have to think and react quickly in different situations, and took classes so I would keep on thinking like a student. And I have had much real world experience to fall back.
I could have applied to law school back when I initially completed my undergraduate studies, but my longing to see the world got the better of me. I wanted the freedom and flexibility that comes with having very few commitments, and these experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. I am much more worldly and mature than I would have been eight years ago, and this gives me a potentially unique perspective to bring to law school.
I had just started my junior year at Smith College, and though I had managed to avoid getting married since I turned eighteen, my family had decided it was time it happened. I had so many plans for myself, and marriage to a man who lived in Pakistan was not one of them. Yes I did want to get married one day, but getting married that young to someone I did not know was just too scary a prospect. I turned to a few of my professors I trusted, who directed me to my dean. My dean had dealt with situations like this before, students with strict parents who decided when it was time for school to be over, and when it was time to become a wife.
Through several conversations between my dean, my parents and myself, we were able to come to a resolution. For the first time in my family's history, a woman was going to get out of a marriage that had been arranged, and was going to be allowed to pick the man she wanted to marry. This was a true accomplishment for me since this was unheard of in my family history. My parents did not allow me to go to the movies, to sleepovers, or to even talk on the phone, and here they were allowing me the power to make such a huge life decision.
It was then I realized my ability of so much more than what I thought and I also realized how important it is to have financial independence. Up until this point I had always been told what to do, and what would be expected of me as a woman of Pakistani descent. Because I was financially dependent upon my family, they had no issues with controlling every aspect of my life. I realized my own strength, that as a woman I could do a lot of the things I had previously thought I could not.
Since that point, my brother has referred to me as a "sleeping giant." Since he and I are close in age, I initially assumed it was an insult and thought he was implying something about being lazy. In reality what he meant was I have been the one in our family with the most potential, and since it was untapped, I might as well be sleeping. That phrase has stuck with me for a long time. It has been because of him I decided to go to law school. He was the one who introduced me to the idea and had me speak to some of his lawyer friends so I would have a better understanding of what to expect.
Though I have not been a full-time student for quite some time now, I have taken measures to ensure I would stay committed to my goal of furthering my education. Because I have always known I wanted to go back to school, I had a fear that my talents and brain would atrophy from lack of use. To combat that, I got into management at my work so I would have to think and react quickly in different situations, and took classes so I would keep on thinking like a student. And I have had much real world experience to fall back.
I could have applied to law school back when I initially completed my undergraduate studies, but my longing to see the world got the better of me. I wanted the freedom and flexibility that comes with having very few commitments, and these experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. I am much more worldly and mature than I would have been eight years ago, and this gives me a potentially unique perspective to bring to law school.
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