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Following my role model; UC/ World I come from



Ryan_the_Lion67 1 / -  
Nov 30, 2012   #1
Describe the world you come from--- For example, your family, community, or school--- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. Please critique!

An event of my childhood that I will never forget is the day my grandmother passed away. When I was told the news of her passing I felt as if time had stopped. I was devastated with the thought of losing someone that was dear to everyone in the family. Being young at that time, I couldn't perceive what had happened. I was surprised to hear that she died from heart surgery because she was such a strong woman with a big heart.

Everyone in my family was devastated that we had lost someone dear. We all knew she would help any family member if they needed it. For example, in times of hardship, my family turned needed help when we were behind on bill payments and being the person my grandmother was, she aided us until every last penny were paid back to the bank. If you needed anything, she was the person to turn to. We visited with relatives and friends of the family to could mourn for her and comfort one another during this tragic time. During these visits, everyone shared their memories of my grandmother. Through all these stories, one theme kept repeating itself. Unbeknownst to me, my grandmother extended her generosity to everyone she touched and didn't limit her kindness solely to her family and relatives.

By being with my family, for extensive period of time, we were able to remember the actions of kindness. My grandmother was kind and generous and she always helped anyone in need of assistance.

Some of the memories shared included listening to other people's problems with an open mind, helping others with their job search, provide food and/or shelter to any others in need, and donate money to others. Apparently, my grandmother had given her hairdresser a $50 tip for a haircut. When asked why she gave such a large tip, my grandmother told her that it's only money and she can't take money to heaven.

My grandmother inspired me to help my community in any way possible. To help the community I have donated money to those in need, to volunteering my time working in a local soup kitchen. Through these services, I realized that my passion is to help people in need, whether being in need of medical attention or feeding the hungry. I set my personal goals to study in the medical field because it is associated with helping people. I am willing to help anyone out no matter the time nor day. The employees of the hospital work each and every minute to make sure a patient is comfortable and back to full health.

My passion to help everyone in need has molded me into the person I am today. When any of my family members or friends need help, I help them out to the fullest extent. My passion to help people out is driving me into the hopes and dreams of entering the medical field. College is not only a means to learning the concepts of helping people out, but it is the first step to fulfilling my dreams and aspirations.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 661  
Nov 30, 2012   #2
The prompt asked you to write about the world that you come from. it means that you should talk about the environment that you raised in. The prompt did not ask you to talk about a person who influenced you. For example, you could talk about your family. Your culture, the environment that your parents provided you with and its effect on your behavior and abilities,are the things that you can talk about.

We all have experienced lots of good and bad events in our lives. But, some of them permanently remain in mind and will be never forgotten. For me, my grandmother death was one such event.An event of my childhood that I will never forget is the day my grandmother passed away.When I was toldAt the moment that I heard the news of her passing I felt as if time had stopped. I was devastated with the thought of losing someone that was dear to everyone in the family. Being young at that time, I couldn't perceive what had happened. I was surprised to hear that she died from heart surgery because she was such a strong woman with a big heart(It sounds odd to me. I don't think you can use this phrase in this context) .

Everyone in my family was devastated that we had lost someone dear.

Repetition.

If you needed anything, she was the person to turn to.

Do not repeat the word "need". You can reword this sentence like this :"When I faced an obstacle that I couldn't overcome alone, I knew that there is a reliable person who can help me- that person was my grandma."

By being with my family, for extensive period of time, we were able to remember the actions of kindness. My grandmother was kind and generous and she always helped anyone in need of assistance.

This paragraph is too short. elaborate on it. You can add one of your memories in this part.


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