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"Food, water, shelter." - Cornell's College of Chemical Engineering



amyfu215 1 / 1  
Nov 27, 2010   #1
Hello! The prompt from Cornell's College of Engineering supplement essay is:

Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.

My essay's pretty scatterbrained and random, and probably not interesting enough. First draft as well. All (helpful) critique is appreciated! I'd be happy to edit others' essays too, just ask. :)

It's supposed to be 500 words or under. I have ~615, which can be pretty easily remedied.

Food, water, shelter. Every day, our most essential and indispensible needs pass through the hands of a million miniscule security officers: chemicals. With a highly discriminatory eye, they kill bacterial intruders and stand guard, working diligently to ensure our safety. They are everywhere, expanding from the atomic building blocks of life to DNA, the code of life itself, and as humans, we are constantly being thrust in their presence. Unfortunately, our human tendency for error ensures that there will be the occasion where our chemical safeguards becomes unfavorable nuisances and quick action will be necessary to halt a oncoming threat. One such incident of chemical mishap involving the China's deadly melamine-contaminated milk powder bred inspiration from disaster, and thus, my junior year science fair project was born.

Hours of experimentation taught me this: First-hand experience beat any lesson out of my AP chemistry textbook. While preliminary trials introduced me to the distinctively noxious scent of toluene and the white precipitants of the melamine and sulfuric acid combination, repeated trials of mixing and diluting in the research lab taught me the careful precision and the patient persistence chemistry requires. I had only been briefly introduced to this kind of sorcery in my weekly chemistry labs, and as the possibilities of chemistry grew for me, so did my passion. It was the engineering side of my project, however, that truly captured my inquisitive tendencies, causing me to question why an instrument functioned to a certain degree of precision or why certain chemical properties governed the procedures that I had taken. In the midst of the Science and Engineering Fair of Houston, I found myself pondering the setbacks that I came across during experimentation, governed by the molecular properties of the chemicals that I had used. That same questioning mindset that drew me to chemical engineering now perpetuated my nagging thoughts...instead of using an organic chemical like ethylene glycol, should I have used a substance with a smaller particle size? Or perhaps first used a centrifuge? I didn't know the answer yet, but I vowed to in time. In short, I needed the careful guidance of the research institution of Cornell.

Flipping through the rainbow of college brochures, I am drawn to Cornell's open and optimistic "any person, any study" attitude. Cornell seems less intimidating and more like a wise mentor, with the distinguished appearance that only a institution of its long-standing merit can obtain. I see myself, engaged in discussion during the Microchemical and Microfluidic Systems class, learning about chemical mixtures on a smaller scale, a concept critical to the quality control industry. I picture myself as a part of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers at Cornell, engaging in partnerships with students of the same ambitious plans that I have. I want to travel to Tsinghua University in Beijing, equipped with a research grant to test my procedure with tangible evidence, to truly finish what I have started. Perhaps it began with a bit of cultural attentiveness, but wherever I am, I want to be advancing the health of my fellow humans.

In a world like the one we live in, it is hard to ignore the impact that chemicals have had on each of our lives. My own Houstonian community owes its prosperity to the chemical engineers that have refined the plants and processes of the petroleum industry, and in its optimistic and caring individuals, I see the benefits being put to good use. I aim to achieve that same positive influence working in the quality control industry. The possibilities have laid themselves in front of me, and I can only ask of my wise mentor Cornell, to start me on that path to achievement.

zdmw911 9 / 26  
Nov 27, 2010   #2
I like how specific you are in your essay, especially the 2nd paragraph. You might want to explain some more technical terms in case the AdCom aren't scientists; words like "centrifuge" might need some explanation.

Also I think having a clear introduction will allow you to better focus your essay.

Great essay overall. It's great that you have a very specific experience that you can talk about knowledgeably!

If you have the time, can you have a read of my essays here (especially the 2nd one). The app is due in 3 days:


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