Foundations of Journalism / Middle ages - NYU academic areas of study

NEW YORK UNIVERSITY

Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.

Being a teenager on the brink of adulthood, there are still a world of things I don't know - One of them being what I want to with the rest of my life. I had originally wanted to become a Pediatrician because being a doctor is an indispensable job and I find such great pleasure in helping people. But science is not my passion - giving is. I have been volunteering since I was 12. I'm applying to NYU because of its tradition of Service - and Office of Civic Engagement to facilitate the volunteer efforts of its students. More specifically, the College of Arts and Sciences will give me the opportunity to find my passion. Whether I take a Foundations of Journalism class or a class outlining the Passion and Desire in the Middle Ages, NYU will help me decide who I want to become.

the character limit is 500, so I'm a LITTLE over .. by 290 characters :)

I'm applying to NYU because of its tradition of Service - and Office of Civic Engagement to facilitate the volunteer efforts of its students. More specifically, the College of Arts and Sciences will give me the opportunity to find my passion. Whether I take a Foundations of Journalism class or a class outlining the Passion and Desire in the Middle Ages, NYU will help me decide who I want to become.

You can just put this part and skip the parts before it...it's really good! They want a short, succinct answer, and this fits that description.

Thanks so much!
are you sure I shouldn't keep some part of the beginning?
It seems a little empty without some sort of introduction...

you could insert a line mentioning your desire to make a meaningful contribution to society. keep it within 98 characters! ;)

hows this?

Volunteering and Dahlia are synonymous. I hope to make a significant impact on the world through my efforts. I'm applying to NYU because of its tradition of Service - and Office of Civic Engagement to facilitate the volunteer efforts of its students. More specifically, the College of Arts and Sciences will give me the opportunity to find my passion. Whether I take a Foundations of Journalism class or a class outlining the Passion and Desire in the Middle Ages, NYU will help me decide who I want to become.

It's definitely not bad. Especially since you only get 500 characters (And I thought Stanford's 250 word essays were bad...) That being said, I don't think the intro fits. I can tell that you were just trying to start it off somehow, and I don't see how it connects to the rest of the answer. Make the intro fit the rest better, and you're golden with this one.

the intro of which one .. the edited or the originial.
BAAAAAAAAA its so hard to say everything I want with 500 characters.

maybe cut out what you originally wanted to be and how long you've been volunteering...
Or perhaps join that with something else.
You have a good idea with giving being your passion and NYU being the place that will help with that, so maybe focus a little more on those two.