Friends and activities - WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU? WHY?

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU and why?

Friends are an essential part of anyone's life. True friends provide an environment free of judgement so one can be completely themselves without the fear of being judged and give a reason to stay strong in life. They can change who you are, boost your happiness, reduce your stress, and help you be a better person by improving your self-confidence and self-worth. My extroverted friends helped me eliminate my shyness in my mid-teen years as a socially awkward person. I was uncomfortable around people back then, but I have broken through my insecurities and become more confident thanks to my friends.

We often have group study sessions which helps my academics a lot. I began to participate in many extracurricular activities as it was a fun way to hang out with friends. My friends bring out the best in me and motivate me to try new things. I got my friends back covered as much as they got mine; my friends can always be sure that there will always be someone to lean on when they need help and support. We often joke around and share whatever's on our minds to know each other and strengthen our friendships along the way. Thanks to them, I never feel alone and left out in anything. I give my friends as much value as I do to my family as they have helped shape me throughout high school.

Well, this is certainly a very enlightening response to the prompt. Friends and friendship are common discussion response topics for this essay. So it would normally be a tiresome response for the reviewer to read over. However, your response allows the reviewer to gain an insight into who you were and who you are today. This helps him form an idea of who you may be in the future once you join their students community.

In the second paragraph, the presentation would be strengthened, in my opinion, if you remove the first 2 sentences. That way you call attention as to how your friends have helped you become a better person. The first 2 sentences, do not really deliver on the idea that you can continue to grow as a person and student as a member of your college community. Focus on the character building aspect of your friendship. That is the most important discussion in this response statement.

I think overall you wrote a good essay but you can improve on second paragraph. You have sort of compressed together a lot of reasons how your friends helped you. And that is okay but you need to sum it up to how that has built you as a person.