Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

TOEFL: It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends


sivian 1 / 1  
Dec 15, 2013   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer


In this essay, I will show, why I agree with the statement that keeping old friends is more important than making new friends.
First of all this is a personal matter, being as such, I would like to start with an example that shades some light on the issue from my personal experience, I am a fairly sociable kind of guy and making new friends is relativly easy for me, but what I find is that I keep coming back to my old pals because they are the ones I know real good.

In addition, friendship with people you know for a long time can go a long way, with such friends there is a much more profound relationship, friends that know about my history and my past and my secrets, know what are my weak points and know how to act with me in a various situations. Usually with new friends the relationship is shalower and I do not always sure how am I expected to act.

Subsequently, there is much less "carefulnes" when we are in the company of our old friends, this sense of freedom and openess is appealing to my most high esteem, I never feel so truthful and free with new friends, there is always something you don't know about new friends, and that is a possibilty for ill comunication issues from one kind or another.

Moreover, I grew in a Kibbutz, which is a very special life form, kind of a social village, so some of my best friends are virtually grown up with me since the cradle, we grew up together, and although I will be the first to admit that knowing some one so good have some problems as privacy and that they expect you to behave in a certain manner that goes hand in hand with their established image of you, still, it is kind of relaxing to know I can hangout with people, and at times get an friendly advice from someone I have been to so much through together already.

Additionaly, that bring us to a major topic which can shed some light on the issue of why it so important to keep them old pals connections going, the topic of Expectations, old friends know what to expect from you, in if you surprise them for good or for bad, they can handle it; And you also, as a friend know what is expected. In that sense, the reltionship is much more stable.

Yet another issue is my life experience, there is no replacement for an old time friend, and personally it makes me feel bad when I think about some old friends I have lost in time, for lacking the ability to maintain our friendship, new friendship were never a proper replacement for that.

To conclude, from the above reasons, it is much more important to me to keep old friendship. Older friendships are an amazing reltionship which I wish for everyone.

What do you find of this essay, what should be improved, how much does it worth for the TOEFL writing exam?

last 3 / 6 2  
Dec 16, 2013   #2
Hello, i'm not a professional or something, but i can clearly see that you need to work on your introduction paragraph. The introduction needs to be longer than this, i think at least 3 sentences :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 18, 2013   #3
Well ... your essay looks like a direct answer to the prompt. However, you need to present it in a style of an essay and therefore you need to pay more attention to the essay structure.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends