('my friends, teachers, and family respect me') MIT- Personality attribute

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to be harsh. Thanks in advance!

Prompt: What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (200-250 words)

Any high school student can find people to laugh with, cry with, and call their friends; what is hard is finding a group of people that abide by the same morals as you do. I have seen way too many people forfeit their integrity to feel cool and popular, and the only thing it's gotten them is a life filled with drama and other trouble. I'm proud - and so grateful - to be able to say that I have kept my integrity and found a faithful group of friends that has never led me astray from the moral path that I set out to follow.

I know that people at my school have typical high school parties where bad things happen, but I can happily say that I've never been to one, or even been invited to one. My close friends steer away from those kinds of parties, and everyone else knows that I'm not into that kind of thing. A lot of seniors would hate to be able to say that they've never been invited to a "real" high school party, but I think it's quite a deal; I get awesome friends who will always be there for me, and I'm perfectly happy hanging out, watching movies, and playing games with them rather than getting drunk on the weekends.

I'm proud to know that my friends, teachers, and family respect me, and I believe the root of this is that I have respected myself and stayed true to my morals.

I think that your first paragraph comes off as a little bit snotty - not intended - and stereotypical. there are lots of people who go to parties but also have quality friends and lifestyles. Example: and the only thing it's gotten them is a life filled with drama and other trouble.

As well, I think you need to adress the question more directly. It asks for a specific personality. Perhaps find oen specific attribute, such as staying true to your beliefs, that you can use to guide your essay!

Good Luck!!!

As well, I was wondering if you would be able to review my Application essay. Ill forward you the link!!

This is really well written, since you can really feel the pride and the will to stat true to your morals.
However, MIT is a college where there will be parties, so I don't know if your essay could sound judgemental to the admission office,

who is looking for open-minded people. The problem comes mainly from "where bad things happen". You should explain why you consider
these things (I assume you mean drinking alcohol) to be bad. While the admission office will surely appreciate your stong will they like to know what

makes you think alcohol is bad.
But again, the writing style is superb.

Alright sorry, could you guys take a look at this one? I decided to write on something different that might be less stereotypical.

The attribute of my personality that I am most proud of is not one that describes the way I treat people or the way I act; it is a way to view the world that happens to define those things. Before I moved to Kansas in 4th grade, I hardly knew what optimism was. Now, it affects my thoughts, actions, and interactions every day.

When I moved to Kansas, I met a girl who seemed to be eternally happy. We became close friends, but she would tell me that I was too pessimistic. She explained what optimism was and would always encourage me to give it a try. This was similar to any other kind of training - the more she corrected my pessimism, the more optimistic I was without her reminders.

Now, maybe "training" gives this the wrong connotation, but I could not thank my friend enough for helping me to see the world in a more positive light. Because of her, I find it hard to feel hate for anyone, and I find it hard to feel hopeless in any situation. I've had people tell me that I always smile and that I laugh at everything. I know that's true - and maybe sometimes I laugh too much - but what's the point in being negative? Life is such a joyful thing, and I believe there's a reason that it's harder to frown than smile.

And Ali I'd love to review yours, which one are you talking about?