'a future CIA Agent' - St.John's University Essay

What motivates you? We'd like to know what activities you really enjoy. Do they tie in with any career goals? Have you won any awards or honors?

Seeing and learning new things has always motivated me to do my absolute best. Experiencing the unknown excites me beyond imagination. I have a thirst for knowledge that is unquenchable. I enjoy traveling and learning about cultures and religions. I believe that it is important to explore foreign lands because it allows us to indulge our selves in new experiences, introducing us to a wider range of people, and it allows one to create a sense of identity while enjoying the true gifts of living.

As a future CIA Agent, I hope to travel, in order to resolve international crisis and conflicts. I have won awards such as Academic Excellence Awards and Honor Roll. Though these awards are important, my outlook on life is what I treasure the most.

How does this sound? Any Suggestions? Please and Thank you.

I could not find anything to edit, and you seem to have answered all the prompts. I can tell by your essay that you're intelligent, well spoken, and a great writer. Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

I think instead of using us, you should say me since it is about YOU.

Other than that, sounds very concise and to the point!

please check mine out! UC ESSAY #1
- the way you write can help improve my essay too