Gardens/ Molecular Biology/ Fresh& Tranquility/ Ancient Architecture; Why Rhodes?

hey everyone. this is my why rhodes supplement. Please help me with any suggestions or criticisms and also the word limit. everything is appreciated. help me and i will help you. thanks.

The view as I might one day sit in one of the gardens at Rhodes, I can imagine, will be mesmerizing. The leaves falling, colors everywhere, the stone buildings, and long lanes of grass- just the mere thought of it excites me. Rhodes is one of the few colleges that meets most of my requirements. It has a unique molecular biology major and provides me with research opportunities through which I can prepare for my career earlier in life. The diverse student body gives me a chance to meet people from different cultures and learn about them while sharing my own culture with them. The 10:1 student to faculty ratio allows me to have adequate interaction with the teacher to learn effectively. But the most inviting part for me is the kind of environment I might be surrounded with.

Raised in a crowded city where all forms of pollution take away the last ounce of serenity left within you, I have always wanted to live in a place where I would be able to simply look around me and feel fresh and tranquil. Rhodes offers me exactly that. The beauty of the Rhodes surroundings can help me find peace in my mind. The stone buildings reflecting the ancient American architecture will help me adapt to a new environment swiftly and will allow my fascination of ancient objects to flourish. The small but diverse community will allow me to be a part of a closely knit family where I know everyone and everyone knows me. I believe that what is around me can truly inspire me and at Rhodes, I will be inspired in every way to thrive and excel for the next four years.

Does this sentence still make sense? I think your tenses are a little funny

I agree with Jenny's corrections.
I am from Memphis so I know all about the beauty which you are describing! However, I'm not sure its as convincing of an answer as you could provide. You talk about your requirements (the academics, the ratio) and then you say how the most important reason you are applying to Rhodes is its architecture and environment. I understand that it's tranquil and beautiful, I love the campus too. However, it's not a very compelling reason. You write well, I would just try to highlight what exactly the environment will do for you other than to provide you with something to stare at.

Thanks for reading mine! I'm going to be revising it quite a lot. I'll take a second look at yours if you feel you need it

Hello,

I would say that in the beginning you are just listing out your "requirements" but colleges don't want that.
Maybe focus on one or two thing that you really like about Rhodes and connect it with your own anecdote!
I like the last part where you talk about the environment of Rhodes. Good luck!