Hello everyone!
I have two short essays for University of Georgia. The application deadline is on the 31st of October. I would appreciate if you could please give me some feedback before then. Minor corrections are appreciated, but I am focusing on the larger picture. I am worried about the essays flowing smoothly, being creative, and being memorable. What do you think? The word limit is 200 words. The first short essay is 198 words and the second short essay is 194 words. Thank you in advance for your time. :)
Choose an intellectual or creative opportunity (for example, community involvement, a summer program, a unique project, travel abroad, etc.) from your high school years that you have enjoyed and highlight how you have grown personally because of the experience.
The long days of summer, symbolized by sunshine and heat, have always been the best days of my life. In Bangladesh, we used to attend family reunions during the summer. Those wonderful summers in my homeland, however, lasted until I turned eleven. My family migrated to United States in March of 2006. My parents decided to sacrifice their land, properties, and relatives so that I could have a distinguished education and a bright future in America.
Five years later, I was at Valdosta State University for the Georgia Governors Honors Program. The Governors Honors Program (GHP) is a summer instructional program that provides intellectually gifted high school students challenging and enriching educational opportunities.
GHP was the opportunity to bond with others who share the same passion as me. Being with the top 0.07% of the high school students in the state of Georgia was truly incredible and inspiring. I realized that both mine and my parents' dreams were gradually becoming realities. My parents' dream was for me to excel in education in this country by taking advantage of the opportunities; my dream was to realize my personal identity and passions. GHP served to make the dreams become reality.
I have two short essays for University of Georgia. The application deadline is on the 31st of October. I would appreciate if you could please give me some feedback before then. Minor corrections are appreciated, but I am focusing on the larger picture. I am worried about the essays flowing smoothly, being creative, and being memorable. What do you think? The word limit is 200 words. The first short essay is 198 words and the second short essay is 194 words. Thank you in advance for your time. :)
Choose an intellectual or creative opportunity (for example, community involvement, a summer program, a unique project, travel abroad, etc.) from your high school years that you have enjoyed and highlight how you have grown personally because of the experience.
The long days of summer, symbolized by sunshine and heat, have always been the best days of my life. In Bangladesh, we used to attend family reunions during the summer. Those wonderful summers in my homeland, however, lasted until I turned eleven. My family migrated to United States in March of 2006. My parents decided to sacrifice their land, properties, and relatives so that I could have a distinguished education and a bright future in America.
Five years later, I was at Valdosta State University for the Georgia Governors Honors Program. The Governors Honors Program (GHP) is a summer instructional program that provides intellectually gifted high school students challenging and enriching educational opportunities.
GHP was the opportunity to bond with others who share the same passion as me. Being with the top 0.07% of the high school students in the state of Georgia was truly incredible and inspiring. I realized that both mine and my parents' dreams were gradually becoming realities. My parents' dream was for me to excel in education in this country by taking advantage of the opportunities; my dream was to realize my personal identity and passions. GHP served to make the dreams become reality.
