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'gender discrimination still exists in China' - Apply Texas Topic A

alilsushi 1 / 1  
Nov 22, 2012   #1
Prompt: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Please give feedback and edit it if you could, thank you.

As far back as I can remember, she is the woman who always hugs me with her warm arms and sings tenderly while I am asleep. A special bond of kinship has formed between us on my first day of life. She teaches me how to be a good child, how to communicate, express my feeling yet most importantly how to smile. When I am about three years old, the woman who I most trusted has left without a word to a place called America. The countless impacts has positively shaped my life attitutues and my future dreams: how to make the world a place to smile.

In the time era, gender discrimination still exists in China and unfortunately I am birth to be a girl. The One-Child Policy of 1979 restricts each family to only have one child; therefore, my paternal grandparents expects me to be a son. Due to the fact that I am a girl, my mother has to take the blame and the disparity from the majority of my family. The first and only person who stands up and takes care of me is my aunt [on my maternal side]. She is the first person other than my mother who truly cares about me and treats me as a true family. She fills my childhood with love and joy. She has influenced the loneliness of a child to have the brightest future, and she is also the woman who makes everything possible to achieve. She is my auntie Wu.

"Flight #301 will arrive in Tijuana, B.C, Mexico at 9:45 A.M," the flight attendant keeps saying it in different alien languages. At a young age of six, I am smart enough to know that the magic aircraft will get me closer to my aunt and to the whatever place called America. After nine years living in Mexico I have slowly fitted in to the new language, culture, and community. Schooling has always been awkward for me because I am the only non-Mexican kid in the school. One day, I hear my mother talking on the phone and my heart starts to beat rapidly because I hear her name. I am sent to my aunt's house in America without any mental preparation in the next week due to my mother's willingness to provide me a better condition of education. Things always start unfavorably until I find a suitable method to solve them. My first week in America is spent to tons of housework that I have never experienced or even touched in my pass fourteen years of life. Certainly, I must follow the rules under my aunt's house in order to stay. She trains me to become a responsible, independent, and strong female adolescent. She teaches me life philosophies, and tells me how has she struggled after departing to America ignorantly without any financial supports. Her history has deeply influenced my careless attitude. She has motivated me to fight against my fate, and to prove my talents to the world that I have the ability to success in the future. These precious life lessons have left infinite marks in my life, the living examples of life attitude. Of honesty, pureness, as well as brave and righteousness. At this point of life, I am well-prepared to make a wise decision and experience a totally new life of college.

In the pass few years, I have spent my youth in the library, given the majority time to my dearest textbooks, and my lunchtime with my teacher in tutorial. I have slowly climbed up to a place where I have enough knowledge and preparedness to step out of the house independently and follow my heart to a different world. A world with mystery, equality, beutiness, and love. The meaning of love is sometimes a big question, but for me love is simple. Love is to care and to understand, as well as to cheer and to respect. Aunt's love is unconditional, blessing, and influencing. At any point of life, our love stays forever.

k123 - / 3 1  
Nov 22, 2012   #2
I like your into but mention who you are talking about in your intro because if confused me about who you were talking about. Work on your grammatical errors but overall your essay seems good.

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