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Undergraduate Essay for Gender and Sexuality Studies Transfer (Brown University)



ellerae 1 / -  
Feb 25, 2014   #1
I am in the process of finalizing my common application transfer essay as well as several supplementals. I would really appreciate any feedback/suggestions before submitting these. I have included my personal essay for the transfer common application as well as one of two essays for the Brown supplemental. Thanks in advance!

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source. If pasting your essay creates problems with formatting, try first transferring your essay into a text editor such as Notepad (Windows) or TextEdit (Mac) before pasting into the application. (250-650 words)

Growing up as a homeschooler, my reality as a student often existed far outside of the traditional parameters of schooling. Yet, the range of knowledge and experience that an independent education nurtured within me was profoundly vast. As my instructor, my mother pursued my education in a fashion that strongly emphasized the liberal arts. As a student, I was encouraged to answer to my own, internal convictions while striving to maintain a ready acceptance of worldviews divergent from my own. I was taught that serving the public is an inherently worthy venture, fundamental to the establishment of character. I was molded to possess an appreciation for the arts and to vigorously pursue my affinity for dance. Yet, more than anything, I was equipped with a means of comprehending the value of learning how to learn. Through homeschooling, I observed that the substance of a course is superior to its structure and that what you choose to put into a course is exactly what you will take away from it, for you only reap what you are willing to sow. The above precepts of independent study, personal identity, self-accountability and tolerance are what my mother and her philosophy afforded me. These are principles that I will forever carry with me in pursuit of further education.

It was very early into my seventeenth year that I lost my mother. I cannot begin to convey such insurmountable loss. She was my parent, my confident, my teacher and my mentor. Suddenly, I began to doubt my ability to see my way through the remainder of high school in the absence of her devoted guidance. I was left questioning my resiliency as a student and as a human being. It was at this point in my life that I discovered - College. What was initially an effort to fulfill a few necessary extracurricular credits for my high school transcript turned into a two-year enrollment with a resulting associate's degree. It was within those two years that I rediscovered and refined my identity as a student. Most significantly, I learned that I would prove resilient, after all. I surprised myself with my readiness to work hard and be wholly dedicated to school. I discovered that I harbor a real passion for learning and am an unyielding perfectionist in its process (admittedly, to a fault, as I often drive myself a little crazy). Within myself, I found an eagerness to confront challenges and a tenacious desire to progress. I learned that nothing gives me such a rush as finding myself on the other side of that which seemed impossible at first, having accomplished a task that I initially doubted my ability to excel at. This rush, this drive, is precisely why I am so eager to move forward with my education.

I am endlessly grateful for the ways in which homeschooling paved the way for my growth at - College and for the ways in which - College prepared me to move on to a four-year institution. Earning my associate's degree gave me vast insight into my desired pursuits as a student, effectively honing in on my key interests and talents. I have proven to be unremittingly captivated by the subject of gender and the ways in which gender differences are established and perpetuated by social, political, cultural and epistemological factors. Now more than ever, I feel that society is presented with a valuable opportunity to expand perceptions of gender and I seek to be a part of that progression. With a broader range of courses, further opportunities and a fresh academic community, a four-year institution will facilitate the achievement of my long-term goals. My chief objective is to earn a bachelor's degree with the intention of pursuing a master's degree in the future. Rather than fixating on a singular destination, an extent to my schooling, I regard my education as an enduring pathway that I am determined to continue on. It is through the vehicle of your institution that I can bring this aspiration to fruition.

Describe what academic field(s) you wish to pursue at Brown, how you came upon that interest, and any post-graduation career plans you may have considered. (500 word limit)

Upon admission to Brown, I intend to pursue the Gender and Sexuality Studies Program. Admittedly, prior to attending college, I neglected to afford much deliberation to topics pertaining to gender and sexuality. It was within my two years pursuing an associate's degree that the subject became of great consequence to me. Within each and every course that I took, gender was at the forefront of my mind. I found myself avidly contemplating the ways in which constructs related to gender and sexuality intersected with the various academic fields that I was exploring. Each instance in which I was awarded the freedom of discussing, researching or writing about any chosen topic, I was certain to select gender. It was my foremost desire to explore the topic within the context of every accessible field and to make connections that surpassed the distinct perimeters of seemingly disparate concentrations. Looking back, I can recall the precise moment when my curiosity peaked and this fascination took root. It was in my very first college level course, Introduction to Film, and we were exploring various, reoccurring themes and motifs that have endured throughout the history of film. Naturally, gender-based roles and stereotypes emerged as a point of extensive discussion, discussion by which I was instantly enthralled. From that moment on, the relevance and implications of gender and sexuality inevitably arose in every class that I took. In my horror English class, I chose to explore gender constructs within tales of possession. In my science fiction English course, I did extensive research into the notion of otherness, as discussed by Simone de Beauvoir in her influential book "The Second Sex", and how otherness has been applied to various social constructs such as race, class and gender within the world of science fiction. In my mass media course, I investigated the stereotypes that are repeatedly implemented within media and the effects of these standards pertinent to gender and sexuality. In psychology courses, I traced the development and adoption of gender constructs and sexual distinctions throughout the human lifespan, both normative and divergent. Finally, my understanding of gender and sexuality coalesced when I participated in a race, class and gender course, which allowed me to more thoroughly research the establishment and implementation of gender related distinctions through cultural and social forces. In reflecting upon the above, I can see how, as I progressed academically, I was drawn to the subject with increasing fascination. I continue to yearn for a deeper sense of the history, implementation and implications of gender and sexuality, and it is through Brown that I can answer to this calling. I am endlessly grateful for the ways in which earning my associate's degree fostered the discovery of my passion for this topic and prepared me to pursue its refinement. In imagining my life several years from now, I can envision myself utilizing a degree in Gender and Sexuality Studies to pursue a career in social services, writing or conducting research on women and gender. I feel as if now, more than ever, topics and issues pertaining to gender and sexuality are at the forefront of social concern and discourse. It is in light of this that I aspire to further my education within this field to the fullest extent possible.

GalPacino 2 / 3  
Feb 25, 2014   #2
ellerae

I think your essays are both really good. Only suggestions I have are grammar-related.

It was very early into my seventeenth year that I lost my mother. I cannot begin to convey such insurmountable loss. She was my parent, my confidante, my teacher and my mentor

The Second Sex should be italicized, not in quotations

your race, gender and class course should be in quotes and capitalized.

I'm also always for breaking up large paragraphs. Your supplement might be easier to read if it's in a couple paragraphs.
Overall, good luck! It looks great.


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