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'Ghanaian smiles' - cultural experience supplemental essay



shadglore 2 / 12  
Nov 22, 2011   #1
2. Describe a situation where you had to work or closely associate with someone from a culture very different from your own. What challenges did you face and how did you resolve them?

Tall buildings, wide asphalt roads, light-skinned people, dark-skinned people and people of mixed complexion exuding "American" smiles were all I could see at every turn. No more bamboo-thatched huts, concrete-tarred roads nor Ghanaian smiles. "Ha! Welcome to America!!" I shouted as I left Nashville International Airport. I had to remove my five thousand shekels coat because it was too hot (...I should have known it was summer).

Across the street, a distant wave of hand caught my attention. He looked like somebody I knew on Facebook. As he got closer, I recognized him. "Brian!!" I exclaimed as I leaped across to hug my assigned roommate. . To escape anymore of the sun's fury (...I had endured enough back home), I quickly hopped into Brian's car as we headed to XY University to spend the semester under the same roof. Exactly a month earlier, I had met this precocious mixed-race Tennessean American on the "XY University Class of 2015" Facebook page. There were other members in the group but his persistent curiosity to know more about my African heritage as well as his respect for my identity as "an international student" each time we chatted online made me realize he would be a perfect roommate. Luckily, we ended up being assigned as roommates.

It has been two months now and the experience has generally being awesome. Though there are times we argue and quarrel about trivial issues like the fact the Ghana National Black Stars soccer team has beaten the U.S soccer team in all their recent encounters at the World Cup as well as Ghana's low level of development despite the country's rich mineral and forest resources, we have learned to quickly bury our differences. Despite our different Ghanaian and American backgrounds, we've realized with time that there are things in which our cultures confluence-our passion to succeed and desire for a better world. For instance, after telling Brian about my humble beginnings and how I had to resort to hawking in the streets to cater for my educational expenses, he broke into tears and asked how I managed to combine that with my academic work. I was also very touched by how he had endured growing up under single parenting since his mother died at his birth. For a better world, while Brian yearns to teach in remote villages in Vietnam upon graduation; I look to help make brain surgery affordable to all Ghanaians and Africans in the future.

But have these experiences affected me in any way? Yes, they have. Few months ago, I was so worried about how to adapt to American food, clothing and language but today, these worries are no more. I have learned to make certain adjustments of adaptations in my usual behavior and attitudes and know that I can quickly adjust to any culture anywhere. Brian? I guess he has also similarly benefited. If not, he would not be considering a study abroad term in South Africa next semester.

ank2jpr 4 / 8  
Nov 22, 2011   #2
great story.. captures attention of reader..

But you have, in my opinion, not mentioned what challenges you faced and how did you resolve them very explicitly. You have explained really well about the "person from the different culture" but the differences are not surfacing well enough. Just revisit this point. But please note that its just mu personal opinion and I may not be correct.

Though there are times we argue and quarrel about trivial issues like the fact the Ghana National Black Stars soccer team has beaten the U.S soccer team in all their recent encounters at the World Cup as well as Ghana's low level of development despite the country's rich mineral and forest resources, we have learned to quickly bury our differences. This sentence is too long and the reader may lose track of the point you are trying to make.

all the best
OP shadglore 2 / 12  
Nov 22, 2011   #3
Thank you ank2jpr.I will definitely work on that and also remove "as well as Ghana's low level of development despite the country's rich mineral and forest resources" from that sentence.I think an example should be fine else it makes it superfluous.
watermark 2 / 15  
Nov 22, 2011   #4
I would also say that your essay is really interesting and capturing the reader's attention. The challenge however is that you have dedicated a small part to explain about the problem you faced. I guess you should add on the challenges. If you can work on that I bet that this essay can really communicate a lot about you.

There are some few mistakes however like:
...adaptations in my usual behavior and attitudes and know that I can quickly adjust to any culture anywhere...
it should be..
..adaptations in my usual behavior and attitudes and I know that I can...

Anyway..Good luck!
OP shadglore 2 / 12  
Nov 22, 2011   #5
Thank you so much..watermark!I am actually working on it now


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